Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack

A quick announcement

2011-07-13T06:19:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION: Hobo Bob would like to disassociate himself from the current owner of hobobobspancakeshack.com, whose favorite activity, it seems, is to publish utterly incoherent spam on the website. Do not go on the website unless you know that you may be scammed by the websites at the links and have taken precautions so that you cannot. It is not me who manages the website anymore. Also, looking around the Hobo Bob universe, most of my sites have been shut down now. A pity. Oh well. At least this is still up.
--Hobo Bob

I'm still alive.

2009-07-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

Brookings, part 2 will be posted in less than a week if I can.

I will explain my situation in it, and everything that has been happening lately to prevent me from posting.
But right now... I just got back to my box in Hobo Town, Alabama and I am bushed, so I'm going to catch up on some sleep I should have been getting lately but couldn't.

I'll tell you this: What kept me from posting before has nothing to do with the Norsklanders or the Menguasai (if you're new to this blog, you can browse around posts to find out what those two groups are), but something greater and far more terrible.

Catch you guys sometime later,
Hobo Bob

Brookings (part 1)

2009-02-07T03:31:00.000-08:00

Hi, folks! This is Hobo Bob, back yet again after a hiatus has ended.
Why a hiatus, you wonder? Why did Hobo Bob go away for longer than a month to do anything besides his blog?
Well, I was just working on some side projects. Although it's a big part of it, this blog isn't my life, and sometimes I need a break.
Unfortunately, the hiatus lasted too long, and it continued to the point where I lost some of my regular visitors. They all thought I was quitting, and I can understand why.
However, I'm back now, so spread the word, because I'm here again, and I'll start to post more.
So... yeah. Check the blog more, and tell your friends that I'm ready to post again. I'll try and raise this blog up again out of the quicksand it fell into while I was gone.

But enough of that.
While I'm here, you might want to know about my interesting trip to Brookings.

Last post I mentioned that my friend was going on a vacation with his friend to Brookings, a small town in Oregon (why anyone would go there for a vacation I have no idea), but his friend suddenly came down with a bad cold, so he knew he couldn't come. So, instead of just throwing away that plane ticket, he asked his other very good friend to come on the trip, and I am pleased to say that it was me. I, being the traveler type, accepted, even though I didn't know where Brookings was besides the fact that it was in Oregon, and I had never been on a plane ride in my life.

Before we got on the plane, a TSA official had to scan us and clear us for metal, and they had to strip us of our possessions and scan them for explosives, which I thought was one of the rudest things ever. I always have my bag of things with me. How was I supposed to know that I couldn't bring and use a desktop computer on board?
But they said that they'd keep it safe there until I got back, and I certainly hope so, because that computer was a lot of work, and I mean a LOT of work, to get.

But apparently, at 9/11, the terrorist attack where the World Trade Center fell, lost of planes were hijacked, including one known as Q33 NY, and it made the TSA extremely paranoid about bombs to blow up the plane and weapons to take down the pilot, and people taking the controls and flying the plane towards the largest structure. So I'll forgive them for that one incident, because they're paranoid and they don't know me, so they thought I might hide bombs in a computer, which, by the way, will never happen.

Enough of that, though.
After all that trouble to get through security, the plane ride was awesome. I had never felt anything like the exhilarating feeling of taking off or landing. And even though the plane, from the window, seemed to go extremely slowly, in a couple hours' time, we were transported from Hobo Town International to Crescent City Airport in California (Brookings is one of the most southern towns in Oregon), picked up a rental car, and drove to Brookings, where we promptly found our hotel rooms (mine was 307, my friend's was 328) unpacked, and then had a good seafood dinner at a restaurant.

"Don't you think there should be a Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack here like there is in Hobo Town and now San Francisco?" my friend asked.
"Don't you think that anywhere that doesn't should have one?" I responded, and we both had a good laugh at that.
"Good point," my friend replied. "You know, there are supposed to be lots of hobos here."
"Really?"
"Yeah. They say they're down by Wharf Street."
"That sounds like something I might want to check out tomorrow."
"Yep."

After dinner, we both retired to our hotel rooms and vowed that tomorrow we'd see the hobos. I called Hobo Town to see how the restaurant was coping without me, and it seemed to be doing fine, so I quietly went to sleep.
TO BE CONTINUED...

I'm Back (again)!

2009-01-02T03:54:00.000-08:00

Hello, viewers! This is Hobo Bob, back posting after, to be exact, 3 weeks. (Even though Blogger said I posted this on January the 2nd, it's actually the 3rd right now.)
If you're wondering just what I was doing over some of that large period of time, I was actually on vacation in the coastal city of Brookings in Oregon. Why, you ask?

Well, the answer's quite simple, actually. A friend of mine had bought two plane tickets, but the person whom he had wanted to come with had fallen sick. So, he asked me if I wanted to go to Brookings, and I said sure, but had no idea what Oregon was like. I'll tell you the trip in full details on my next post, but here's a little idea for you of the somewhat eccentric temperatures of Brookings, comparing to the chilly San Francisco, except that San Francisco is a bit hotter, and Brookings gets more rain.
Brookings gets 75 inches of rain a year and no snow, remarkably, because it's always too hot.
But it's never too hot, because the temperature never goes much above 70.
The year high is usually about 72 and the year low is about 39. It's a very interesting place, because 6,455 people would want to live in a place where you can only ever look at the ocean 99% of the year, and if you do go in sometime other than that other 1% of the year (read: the beginning of August), you're going to regret it.
But still, I like it. The locals are nice and accommodating, and always ready to help a friend in need, and there's lots of hobos there.
Come to think of it, there seems to be a lot of hobos wherever I go. Maybe I just have a knack for spotting them, since I am one.
Like I said, more about Brookings next post.
In other news, the Pancake Shack had a special New Year's dinner where we served, in addition to the regular menu, some special meals, all served at a cheaper price than the usual. Just about everybody in town and some from out of town came. It was fun.

Also, in a grim turn of events, the Norsklanders have somehow managed to turn the battle the other way around and claim back some of their cities. Armaj has told us that this has to do with the Menguasai, and I'm pretty sure that this is true.
As a result of this, we've shifted some of our troops to Indonesia, where the headquarters of this strange civilization are, but not too many as we must recapture the cities that the Norsklanders have taken from us.

By the way, did you know it was my birthday on Christmas? Now I'm 31.
I still don't feel the slightest bit different, though.
--Hobo Bob

P.S. Did you know that more international people are coming to Hobo Bob? Just yesterday, I saw a visitor from Athens, Greece, and Engelberg, Switzerland.

Another concert!

2008-12-13T15:44:00.000-08:00

Hey, Shack fans! This is Hobo Bob, posting again after a very exciting week!
You see, as I mentioned in the last post, Ritchie, the lead singer and bongo player of the famous hobo band Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers, invited me to play another concert with him at the famous Hobodome after the great success of the last concert I had had with the band.
Suffice to say, I was nervous, but I think I overcame that fairly quickly. Since I had memorized all of his songs, he didn't have to teach me anything. I played guitar, a little bass, and sang some backup lyrics in the 17 songs that we played.
A music reviewer named Lenny produced a review of the concert in the Hobo Gazette (our weekly newspaper here in Hobo Town). Here is an excerpt:

RITCHIE CONCERT ROCKS HOBODOME
by Lenny Slavołyski
On a Sunday afternoon, several thousand concertgoers gathered at the Hobodome for what they expected to be a normal Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers concert.
It wasn't. Someone else was joining in on the glory.
Hobo Bob of Hobo Town, Alabama played with Ritchie at this memorable concert after Ritchie invited him to.
"I had no idea that it would turn out to be this," said Bob, clearly happy about having so many fans.
And indeed he did. The group and Bob rocked though the 17 songs that were played there. Several favorites of mine included the smash hits 'If I Had A Crowbar' and 'Cardboard (The Only Thing I Know)', and the new single, 'Train Time'.
It really was tremendous, and you could hardly hear the band over all of the cheering...

I don't think I need to tell you that it went well.
In other news, I have added some improvements to the blog.
First of all, the language translator. This translates my blog into tons of different languages for the viewing pleasure of people who do not speak English.
And second of all, there is the Hobo Bob world map. This shows where in the world people who come here are. So far I have somebody from Lille, France, and somebody from Bat Yam, Israel. I hope many different people from many different countries come!
--Hobo Bob

New Shack!

2008-12-06T03:43:00.000-08:00

Hello, fans and first-time readers alike! This is Hobo Bob, and I have to tell you that I am very excited. Why, you ask?
Because a NEW PANCAKE SHACK has just opened up in San Francisco, making Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack a chain officially!
I was there at the opening ceremony and actually got a few free days to spend there, too. Great place, San Francisco. They have just about everything - fun trolley rides, the Golden Gate Bridge, Pier 39, lots of hobos...
Actually, the new Pancake Shack was erected around Pier 39. Since there are lots of hobos and lots of non-hobos, this place was especially chosen by my Finnish business partner, Robbie Ensimmäinen, as one of the best places to put the second restaurant. I agreed with him totally. He always seems to have good ideas.

For those of you still wondering what became of the Lincoln Hobo Democracy mentioned in the last post, Armaj raided Lincoln and took the city from the ruthless Menguasai. So my friends are safe now.
It's been awhile since I last posted. How were your Thanksgivings? I know mine was good.
You see, hobos celebrate Thanksgiving with a - you guessed it - potluck. They never have enough different kinds of food for themselves, so they figure if everyone brings one thing in, there's going to be lots of different kinds of food at the table.
The party did have all different sorts of foods! Turkey, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce as usual, noodles, chips and dip, my famous party-stealing toast, fruit salad with all sorts of fruits that I had never heard of before, even cheese quesadillas!
And that was before dessert. I could not humanly describe how many desserts there were, but there were at least 100. I tried all of them, and they were all delicious.
If you're wondering how all of these foods could happen in a box, they couldn't. Ritchie, the famous hobo of Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers, with his house, had graciously accepted to host the potluck this year. (It rotates.)
While I was there, Ritchie invited me to do another concert with him, too! It's supposed to happen tomorrow, actually, so if you happen to live in Hobo Town, come down on to the Hobodome on Sunday at 8:00 PM to watch it. It'll be worth your while, I promise.
...So yeah. That's basically all that's been going on with me. How are you?
--Hobo Bob

Menguasai

2008-11-26T08:37:00.000-08:00

Hello, readers! Hobo Bob is back, with yet another post!
In the last few days, a lot of things have happened. The Norsklanders have attempted to take over Hobo Town (read more at hobojimsnoodleshop.blogspot.com), the Shack has decorated itself for Thanksgiving, this Thursday, and another thing happened, too.
Something that no one else seemed to cover, so I'll tell you.
Two days ago, I was walking down Homeless Boulevard when a man walked up to me.
"Hello," I said, trying to be friendly.
"Hello," he responded coldly. "Is your name Hobo Bob?"
"Why, ye-" I started to say, but he covered my mouth.
"Do not speak," he said. "You are in more danger than you think. Follow me, or there might be serious consequences."
We started turning down odd streets, ones that even I had never seen before. The neighborhoods were turning nastier and nastier until this strange, strange man finally stopped in a dark alleyway.
"What is it?" I asked him.
"I am sorry," he said. "Normally I would explain it to you before, but there were too many people that might be listening.
"I come from the Lincoln Hobo Democracy," he said. No wonder I seemed to recognize him.
"We're under attack," he continued.
"By the Norsklanders?" I asked.
"No, believe it or not. There seems to be a third side in this quest for world domination. They call themselves the Menguasai," he replied.
"They nearly succeeded in taking over Lincoln in a show of some of the best tactics that I have ever seen. Had Armaj's special forces team not showed up, we would have been done for for good."
"So what's your problem?" I asked him.
"Well..." he said, taking a deep breath. "However Armaj's special forces team may have helped, they couldn't get all of the Menguasai down, and then they did take over. They're terrorizing us. They have made a pact with the Norsklanders to help them. I'm asking you to tell Armaj about this."
"I can do that."
"You think so?" he asked me.
"I'm sure."
"Thank you so much," he said.
As soon as I got home, I called Armaj about this. It seems the Menguasai come from near where Armaj was born, and its leader is one of his rivals. He thanked me for telling him about this organization's rise to power, and the pact they had made with the Norsklanders. He says he will take evasive action against them as soon as he can. I just hope that the Lincoln Hobo Democracy is doing fine.

Also, I have made a Hobo Bob quiz on ibeatyou! Here's the URL:
http://www.ibeatyou.com/quiz/fda57f/it-s-the-hobo-bob-s-pancake-shack-iby-quiz
I've tested it, and I think that you'll like it. Don't be afraid to do a little research!
--Hobo Bob
P.S. When you search 'iron hobo' on Google, I am at the top of about 1.2 million other webpages! Hooray!

The Bellefontaine Incident

2008-11-18T16:28:00.000-08:00

Hello, devoted readers! This is Hobo Bob, back from the coastal reaches of Alabama with yet another post for you to read.

On Tuesday of last week, I got invited to 'go down' to accompany one of my good friends who I believe I've never mentioned before. His name is Hobo Tom, and he lives in Bellefontaine, a nice town near the spray of the ocean. He invited me to stay with him for a few days. Naturally I accepted.
When I eventually got down there (by way of hitchhiking) I went to his box, and discovered that he wasn't there.
I thought that was a bit odd, but he might have just been out for a couple hours. So I waited...
and waited...
and waited until I got a bit worried. It was 9:00 at night, and pitch dark except for the lights of downtown. It wasn't like Tom to keep a guest waiting.
So I decided to go look for him. He had a flashlight in his box, so I used that.

I went up streets and down streets, and looked in all of the other hobos' boxes. They had neither seen nor heard anything of him.
And then it finally hit me:
The movie theater. Tom was notoriously addicted to movies, and no red-faced manager had gotten him away from his pleasure yet. I walked the way there, and when I got in, I noticed him laying down on the floor.
I raced over to him. "Tom!" I said.
"Norsklanders..." he finally managed out. "Interrogated me... didn't say... I didn't know... information... kicked me down."
And then he passed out.

When he finally woke up again, it was morning, and we were in his box. Though his chest hurt from the kicking, he was at least able to walk around and speak in complete sentences. And from then on, the vacation sort of went normally. I then went back to Hobo Town, and had the pleasure of meeting in person Hobo Fred, a person that I have corresponded with in the past but have never met before, as he lives in Louisiana (at least, he did until recently.) He owns a hot dog stand, and has a blog in the Hobo Blogring (hoboblogring.blogspot.com for a complete list of Blogring blogs.)
We talked for a bit, and he seems like a nice guy. He has a dog, too, named Sparky (correct me if I'm wrong.)
Anyway, that's about it for interesting things that happened this past week. The Pancake Shack's business is booming as ever, and Ritchie might be asking to play a concert with me again, but I don't know about that.
And man, the next time I see the Norsklanders, they're going to get exactly what they deserve...
--Hobo Bob

Update....

2008-11-10T06:26:00.000-08:00

Hello, readers! This is Hobo Bob currently talking to you all from Hobo Town, Alabama, and I have to say that I'm kind of happy right now.
The reason for this is that I have gotten more than 6 comments on all of my posts since, well, awhile ago. That has never happened before, and I think it means that I'm rising in popularity, which is a good thing for me. A lot of people I know who read the blog say that more people would like it if they saw it.
So I'm excited that this is happening. It's certainly a huge thing.
For all of you interested, Armaj just called me with a status report on the Norsklandic war. His army is advancing, and has taken over several major cities, including the high and majestic Maarragøten, home of the first Norsklandic church. I asked him where I had been when I had last been in captivity by the Norsklanders, and he said that I had been in a base of theirs in Arizona, which they have now taken over.
I still don't know why I have to be wrapped up in all of this, or why Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken takes such a special interest in hunting me down. I'll have to talk with Armaj sometime about all of this, and clear it up. Because things are really starting to get quite strange.
As for the Pancake Shack, we (Ensimmäinen and I) are planning to release a new kind of pancake, and I'd like to know what you think. Raspberry? Chocolate? Banana? Whatever you say, I'll suggest.
I will also be posting another vid on YouTube today, if all goes well. Go right ahead and check it out if you want to. I hope you'll like it.
--Hobo Bob
EDIT: Before I have gotten the chance to make a video, Stickinmud288 on YouTube has released a video called "How to Subscribe to Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack". For all of you that were confused, now you can see how.

After the election...

2008-11-05T04:02:00.001-08:00

Greetings, readers! Just a short post this time. It seemed that nearly all of the other Hobo Blogring blogs had made a post already, so I'm trying to pick up my pace and post a little more often.
As you all know, Election Day was yesterday. I congratulate Obama for winning, but I have always been more of a Hobo Party fan, and they haven't won since...
Come to think of it, I don't think they've ever won.
Ah well, no surprise there. The Hobo Party is never really as popular as the Democratic and Republican parties, and we've been trying to get them on the ballot for ages. Though the Hobo Party won Hobo Town, it didn't even get enough votes to win our county, so we're out for the next 4 years.
The point is that we tried, and we're going to keep trying until we finally make it. So I'm fine with that.
Another thing that I'd like to mention is that there is a new Hobo Blogring blog! Called Hobo Jim's Noodle Shop, it is at http://hobojimsnoodleshop.blogspot.com/, and I must say, Hobo Jim is a fine writer. In fact, he moved in Zell's old box yesterday, so I have the benefit of being his neighbor. Check it out! I think it's a very nice blog.
As always,
--Hobo Bob

Happy (late) Halloween!

2008-11-01T06:32:00.000-07:00

Hello, readers!
First of all, I would like to wish you a happy Halloween, even if it is a little late. I didn't dress up myself, but I was there in my box, handing out candy to all the little hobos who happened to stop by. I think they liked my selection.
Boo-Boo Bear (does that ring a bell to you, too?) also asked me a Halloween-themed question:
Do hobos go trick-or-treating? If so, what do you dress up as?
Yes, hobos do go trick-or-treating. There's not much of a difference between trick-or-treating in general, except people are probably more inclined to give you candy.
We dress up just like you non-hobos, too, with the exception of the hobo costume, because we're hobos already.

Second of all, I would like to acknowledge that I, along with several other hobos and their blogs, have set up something called the Hobo Blogring, a webring of blogs about hobos. You can find out more at the Hobo Blogring official blog, but if you have a hobo blog and want to submit it, email me at hobobob@hobobobspancakeshack.com and I'll look at your blog.
It's a big project, but it'll be worth it in the end!

Holidays and blogrings aside, the Pancake Shack is booming! More than 1,000 people come every day and I have a lot of regular customers. The Make-Your-Own-Pancake idea was a great success, and has nearly doubled popularity here.
Most people (in fact all but one) seem to like the new look of the blog, so I'm happy about that. I think I'll keep it until I'm bored with it.
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Zell emailed me mentioning that he was making a new post on his blog finally, so for all of you who are Zell fans (which is probably none of you), keep on the lookout.

Yet another kidnapping...

2008-10-24T13:55:00.000-07:00

Hello, Shack fans! This is the 59th post of this blog, and I'd like to thank you for waiting while I was imprisoned, yet again, by the Norsklanders.
A few posts ago I mentioned that my anteaters, Mark and Josephine, were missing, so I went out to look for them Tuesday. Little did I know that that was all part of the plan...
I checked by the pet shop. I checked by Hobodeos, the local video store (Mark always likes a good movie.) I even checked by Toys-R-Us!
But on that last search, when I walked in, I noticed that something was a bit amiss about the place. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, so I tried thinking about it:
Items... normal. The shelves were so filled with toys that I couldn't see an inch of the white wall.
Customers... normal. Little boys and girls were shopping with their parents, with smiles on their faces.
Cashiers with red-painted wooden shirts... normal.

Wait.
WOODEN SHIRTS?
I nearly staggered over as it hit me that this was a giant trap. The Toys-R-Us had been overrun. There was no chance of escape.
And as he saw my face, the one who had been silently following me put a black hood over me. I suddenly started to grow sleepy...

When I woke up, the dark hood was off and I was facing a proud-looking man dressed in the quintessential wooden shirt. He was of medium stature, and his face was pale. He wore a crown.
This was Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken without a doubt.
"Liakeinatargassentokukein-" he started to say.
"Stop it! Why did you bring me here?" I interrupted, rage pumping through my veins. "What is the point of all this kidnapping?"
"I believe," he said, "that you have something I want, and that I have something that you want. Guards?"
Two guards that had been blocking the door bended down and pulled a sheet off of an abnormally large cage that was next to the door of the room I was in. I cringed. The cage had Mark and Josephine in it, and they looked starved.
I was angry beyond the point of possible measure now. They could put me in a wooden shirt, they could even take away my life, but when they messed with my anteaters, I got mad.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing much. Just a little bit of information, and you'll get your beavers back. If not, however, you'll stay here until you tell me. And believe me, you won't like that."
"What bit of information? What could I possibly know that you don't?"
"I wish to know Armaj's plans."
"I would tell you if I knew them," I said, and quite sincerely so, "but I don't."
"Come now, hobo, is that the best you have?"
"He never told me anything! I swear it!"
His eyes narrowed. "Do you know the problem with that?" he said.
"No."
"I don't believe you. Guards, take him away."
I was led into a small, narrow room with just a chair in it. Each day, the cruel dictator would ask me if I was ready to reveal the plans, and each day I said no. How could I say yes if I didn't know what they were?
But a few days later, a miraculous thing happened. I was sleeping on the cold, hard floor when a voice spoke to me.
"Get up," the voice whispered. "I'm busting you out of here."
I recognized the Singapore accent enough to know that this was the voice of Armaj. We crept out of my small cell, which he had somehow gotten into, collected my anteaters, and that was that. It took me a few days to get back home, but hey, I'm not complaining. I'm just glad I got out of there before long. If I had been there any longer I might have gone insane.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In other news, the potluck was terrific! Ritchie came, too, and brought over the most fantastic dip, and chips to go with it! I was psyched!
Also, for those of you who pay attention, I have made a YouTube vid. Just a small thing, and you probably wouldn't benefit from watching it. I'm just saying, if you want to watch it, you can.

Wishing a happy belated birthday to someone,
--Hobo Bob

Columbus Day

2008-10-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

Hello, readers! This is Hobo Bob, dropping in to say sorry for the lack of posts. I was working on a lot of things, and I will try to post in regular time intervals again after this.
Okay. So, as some, if not most, of you know, I have a website at http://hobobobspancakeshack.com. What you might not have known is that I have drastically improved it over the last week or so. (I haven't got around to making that Reviews page; but don't worry, I'll get time.) You can check out the site to see how I have improved it.
Another thing that you might not have known is that the T-Shirt shop I promised I would make is finally here! It's linked from the site, and you don't have to buy anything, but extra points from me if you do.
For those of you who are a little tight on money, I have also made a mug design. Perfect for a gift for a hobo relative so you can tell him he's special to you. More designs will be coming soon, so I strongly suggest you bookmark it.
There IS a new forum on the site; if any of you are tech-savvy enough for it.

In non-advertising news, I would like to give a shoutout to a few people:
The 1000th visitor to this site (the counter's at the bottom of the page.) Whoever you are, I thank you for coming. Now, let's see if we can get to 10,000...
Joe (not the hobo who's in charge of the Lincoln Hobo Democracy, this Joe lives in Hobo Town and is not a hobo), an avid reader of the blog, for honoring Hobo Appreciation Month and giving me a bag of chips.

Today is also Columbus Day! Hooray! This is a day that hobos celebrate by gathering together in an alleyway (or in one hobo's box, if it's big enough) and talking about life. We save up our food today and have a big potluck.
This year it's in my box, and I think I have everything prepared. My box is nice and neat, and decorated to an extent, and for the potluck I'm sharing some of my delicious homemade toast. Some say it's the best in town, and I don't think they're lying. I think Ritchie of Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers is going to come, too. I wouldn't be surprised, as Ritchie and I are good friends.

So, by all means, don't take life too seriously! You only have so much of it to spend, so why not live every day to its fullest?
Wishing you a happy Columbus Day!
--Hobo Bob

Shack review and more!

2008-10-03T13:57:00.000-07:00

Hello again, readers! This is Hobo Bob speaking, and as I have mentioned in a post, this month is Hobo Awareness Month. Since I am a hobo myself, I will remind you again that if you see a hobo lying on the street, without a box to call home, please remember the month and comfort him in some way. We really need it.
Also, Freightram Homelesson gave an excellent review for the Shack yesterday. Here's how it read in the Hobo Gazette, our weekly newspaper:

"FREIGHTRAM HOMELESSON: ADVENTURES IN GOOD HOBO EATING
A month or two ago, a new restaurant was created. It was called Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack. I took little notice of it, and thought it would go out of business quickly and quietly.
But after a few weeks and hearing nothing but fantastic reviews of the place, I decided I needed to check it out. If the food was really as good as they said it was, I didn't want to miss out on any of it. And boy, was I right about that decision.
As soon as I even walked in the place, I knew I was going to have a great meal. The atmosphere and architecture of the building were perfectly suited for its location.
I sat down at the booth and told the waitress to surprise me when she asked me what I wanted.
Ten minutes later she came out with a steaming hobo pie, golden brown and cooked to perfection. I took a bite...
and I was launched through a thrilling flavor sensation. Rich and creamy and chewy... I hadn't had anything better since the opening of the bacon shop! I asked my waitress what it was. She said it was steak and cheese.
And as I paid the waitress my money (by the way, the prices are excellent), I still kept thinking about how that first bite tasted. Absolutely scrumptious.
So if you're looking for something different and delicious, you definitely have got to come down to the Shack. It'll be worth it.
~Freightram Homelesson, hobo food critic"

How's that for a review, huh? Very nice for the popularity, I should think. More and more people will have read Freightram's column, and they'll come to the Shack! I'm so excited that I can't sit still!
Ensimmäinen seemed to like the Make-Your-Own-Pancake idea, and will add it ASAP. Thank you, Nicole, or whoever you are, for having that idea. It will at least double the visitors!

In other news, Zell has decided that he doesn't need anyone else to take down his gang. He'll try to do the job himself.
"Good luck with that," I said, and breathed a sigh of relief when he wasn't listening. If he thought I was going to join a gang with him as the leader, he was sadly mistaken, but I didn't want to be rude, either, so I was stuck. This makes things a lot simpler.

And if you have a few spare minutes, go to the Hobo Bob official website at hobobobspancakeshack.com, where you can see my bad HTML coding skills and join the new Hobo Bob forum (more on that later)! Hooray!

To quote the waiters and waitresses, "Thank you for visiting the Pancake Shack, and have a nice day!"
--Hobo Bob

I just got Blogged!

2008-09-25T15:31:00.000-07:00

Welcome, one and all! This is Hobo Bob, very excited at the prospect of my blog being rated by the high and mighty blog raters of Blogged.
I personally thought they were going to give me a three or something, but the gave me a 6.4 out of ten (which is "good", according to the Blogged page)! Very nice of them.
If you want to add a review or a rating (which would help), the URL is http://www.blogged.com/blogs/hobo-bobs-pancake-shack.html.
You have to make an account, but the registering process is very straightforward.
So here's to you, Blogged reviewers, for taking the time to review this blog!

In other news, it finally happened: Zell saw me, just when my mood was at its highest. But what can you do, you know?
He's not really as bad as I had suspected he would be, and I guess he's only staying awhile. But here's the bad part:
His gang now hates him, and he's forming his own gang to get back at the old gang. I would be fine with this, but he's asking me to join.
Now you know that I want to say no, but he really sounds desperate. I don't know what to do about it! Do you guys have any advice?

I took Nicole's advice and added a Make-Your-Own-Pancake booth to the design of the Shack. I e-mailed it to Robbie Ensimmäinen, who has been pushing me to do something like this, so I think he'll take the idea well.
Speaking of the Shack, its ratings are still climbing higher, and a hobo-renowned food critic, Freightram Homelesson, will be coming soon. Tomorrow, in fact. I will tell you what he thought of the Shack on the next post, but I think he'll like it. It's been known that "the Freight" likes pancakes, so where can you go wrong with pancakes for a hobo food critic that likes them?
--Hobo Bob

The Pledge of the Pancake

2008-09-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

Hello, readers! Hobo Bob is back to make yet another post!
In case you haven't read the comments, Stickinmud, a fellow Blogger user, wanted me to make a post about the pledge of the pancake.
The pledge of the pancake, you see, is something him and I made up together through a Gmail chat. He did one line, then I did one line, and so on and so forth. Here's the results:
I pledge alliegence
To the Pancake
Of the Hobo States of America.
And to the food
On which it sits
One nation
Under Bob (not my line, I'm too humble)
Somewhat divisible
With maple syrup
And pancakes
For all.

How's that? If I ever hold a Hobo Bob festival, that's what I'll do as a pledge, say, at the beginning of the festival.

Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack (the restaurant) is doing great with sales, with sometimes over 50 people coming in every 40 minutes! That's more than one customer per minute!
I plan to expand on the menu soon, so some suggestions on what to put in would be nice, too.
Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack (this blog) seems to be doing okay, too, with my profile appearing on the top of the second page in a Google search for the words hobo bob.
Also, something weird happened to me today.
After I fed the anteaters today (who, by the way, are doing well), I went two steps out of my box only to find another box right next to mine.
That's strange, I thought. Contrary to popular belief, when they are in cities like Hobo Town, hobos generally stay put.
But when I looked in the box to see who was there, it was none other than Zell, the gangster hobo.
Oh, boy, I thought. Just what I need.
With any luck, he'll move out soon before noticing that he's living right next to me. If there's anyone I want to avoid, it's Zell.
But shh! he's coming right now.
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Next month (October) is Hobo Awareness month, so if you see any hobos on the side of the road, begging, you should remember fellow hobo-ship and give them an apple, or do something kind.

Party and Concert!

2008-09-13T05:31:00.000-07:00

To say the same thing in effect yet again, I'm sorry I didn't post in the last few days. A lot of things were going on, and I couldn't find any time to do anything, let alone do a post. Remembering to feed Mark and Josephine was hard in itself!
But now I'm here, and I've posted. And I hope you're here to read the post.

First of all, I would like to give a big thank you to everybody who came to the party. It was tremendous!
My friend, Hobo Jeff, who is now long out of his imprisonment in China, came. He seemed to be doing fine. Did I mention he's an amazing dancer?
Hobo Chuck, my brother, came, and Charlie, his beaver, did amazing tricks for the captivated audience of which I was a member. Charlie has since learned to speak English quite fluently, so no longer do I or Chuck have to translate from Hoboese for him. He's quite a joker, that beaver!
Ritchie of Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers came to congratulate me and wish me luck at the performance I would have on Monday. Very nice person, but he could only stay a few minutes. (He had a gig going on that night.)
And even Hobo Joe and the Lincoln Hobo Democracy came! All the way from Lincoln, Nebraska!
Hobo Link, my elf friend (his blog is at linkicedtea.blogspot.com and correct me if that's not right) came too, and brought some delicious iced tea for all of us. Lemme tell you, I've never had any beter iced tea than is sold by Link, and I likely never will.
So thank you to everybody who came, from Link to Ritchie to Hobo Jeff, and no matter how long you stayed, you at least made the party a little bit better.

Now about the concert...
Oh, boy. I had never seen so many people in one spot. There must have been 200 hobos there! An absolutely mammoth amount!
I was so nervous that I almost fled off of the stage, but I knew I couldn't. This was a short concert, just a few songs, and I had already learned and practiced them all even when I didn't know Ritchie! He would never forgive me if I just ran off like I had half a mind to do then.
So I relaxed, and stayed where I was. This was band time, I thought, and there is no running away during band time.
So we all stayed there and played. The crowd was absolutely ecstatic - not just only for the band, but for me too! I had never known that I was such a good guitar player! They even gave me snacks by tossing tomatoes up onto me!
After the concert ended, I said bye to Ritchie, who said I played quite well, and went to bed.
Some days just go well.

In other news, there is now a new Following Widget! If you have a Google account and like my blog, you can now say so!
How's that sound?
--Hobo Bob

It's the Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack 50th Post Extravaganza!

2008-09-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

As probably only me knew already, the last post was, according to Blogger Dashboard, the 50th post of Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack!
So, I might have a little celebration at my box on Homeless Boulevard! Anybody is invited. If you live in the area, try coming down. You'll have lots of fun.
The refreshments will include pancakes, hobo pies, drinks, all of that stuff!
And for the people who haven't met me yet, you'll get a chance to meet me in person!
Won't that be cool?
There will also be a dancing contest. There will be lots of good food and music, so like I said, try coming down!

Also, I called up Ritchie the other day. Anyone remember him from the earlier posts? Ritchie of Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers, the hobo band that's about as popular as a hobo band can be?
Anyway, I called him, and we talked for a little bit. But then he asked me something.
"Do you want to do a gig on Monday with us?" he asked.
"Would I ever!" I said, ecstatic.
"You can play the guitar."
Even more excited by this thought, I asked him if I was good enough.
"Are you kidding? You're great!" came the response.

So it looks like I'm going to perform on Monday.
What do you think?
--Hobo Bob

DOT COM!

2008-09-02T14:05:00.000-07:00

Hi! This is Hobo Bob, informing you that I do have a website, registered by Godaddy.com. It is at (www.)hobobobspancakeshack.com. Right now I only have an "under construction" site page up, but check back soon, as it will be updated.
Also, I would like to thank everyone who has commented recently. I'll put it this way: whenever I get a comment, it brightens my day a little bit. And as corny as that sounds, it's true. I wouldn't be anything without you guys.
Please try to vote on the new poll, for it's EXTREMELY important for me to know what my readers think I should do next to expand the Hobo Bob community.
In other categories, I met a hobo named Tom today. He is a very nice man, and we made friends with each other.
I called Armaj today, too. He said they tried to make peace with the Norsklanders, but failed. (Sorry, beebop a. reebop.) Instead, as he predicted, the battle has turned into a war.

In the meantime, how many of you would like the blog to have a new look?
--Hobo Bob
P.S.

I told you I'd get a picture.

Pancake Shack COMPLETE!

2008-08-26T04:47:00.000-07:00

Hello, devoted viewers! Hobo Bob is back and at large.
Anyway...
Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack is complete! I haven't gone to see it yet, but they say it's great. I'll finally be able to start serving people pancakes!
If you want to see the menu for the next time you're in Hobo Town, or anything like that, just tell me. I will be sure to get a picture of the Shack and put it in my next post anyway.
Robbie Ensimmäinen (my business partner) is very happy that it all came through. He has an eye on somewhere in the state of Utah for the next chain, in case this all comes through. But I think it will, since hobos here have been willing to pay for a pancake place around here since at least the 1980s. And more than 50% of the population in Hobo Town is hobos.
Also, yet another expansion to this has been Wikispot, a site with free wiki hosting and mostly the reason of my long absence! (In case any of you don't know what a wiki is, it's like Wikipedia. Feel free to make an account and edit it.) I've only made three pages so far, but if we all pitch in, nobody will have to look at previous posts anymore for sources of explanation!
The wiki is at hobobobspancakeshack.wikispot.org. And that's a .org, not a .com.
So see you there!
--Hobo Bob
P.S. I will return with more of the Pancake Shack, including its picture. Please tell me by commenting if there's anything else I can show you.

The First Battle of the Norsklandic War

2008-08-21T04:29:00.001-07:00

Hello, readers! Hobo Bob again. Yesterday, I returned from an experience that was quite interesting. Usually I would use the On Norsklanders blog for something like this, but nobody reads it.
As I have said about a month ago, I was going to go out and rebel against the Norsklanders. The thing I didn't know is that I was going to help start a war as well.

The rebellion leader did pick me up at about 3 in the morning with his usual way of blindfolding. When I woke up, I was in some kind of base. The leader's face was over me.
"Seriously, can you stop doing that?" I asked him, kind of annoyed with the blindfolded kidnapping.
"Sorry, but no," he responded in his Singapore accent. "Even though you seem to be a very trustworthy person, the fact that you have a blog means that you might say how to get here. There are a lot of people on the Internet here. And some of them might not help us so much."
I nodded at his reasoning. "I understand. I am ready to help you."
"Good!" he said, smiling as I rose off of the bed that I was on. "I am pleased with your intelligence. Here is your weapon," he said and then proceeded to hand me a bright red laser gun.
"You see, we do not shoot these unless it is necessary to do so. We are planning to make peace with and/or intimidate them. If not, we use these, which stun them. Then we will be able to stop their reign of terror.
After that little speech we went outside and saw all of the other soldiers. The numbers rather stunned me, I have to say. There must have been thousands, or maybe millions. They all saluted to the leader.
"Good!" he said, practically bursting with happiness. Then his expression suddenly hardened. "Gentlemen," he said, I see the Norsklanders on the horizon. Do you not tell the flag from the desert?"
"No, sir!" said a number of voices, of course meaning that they saw the flag.
As soon as I saw the one that was commanding the Norsklandic fleet, I froze.
It was Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken.
"You've made a mistake!" I told the leader. "If Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken and his war walrus are in here, we don't have a chance!"
"I've had a few brushes with him before," the leader said. "We have something special prepared for him. Don't worry."
"Alright, if you're sure. Just don't let your guard down around him."
"That's why I have you."
"Me?"
"Do you wonder why you weren't dispatched earlier?"
"Oh, that's what you mean."
When Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken got to us, he got off of the walrus that he was riding, which if I was not mistaken, had some writing on it that translated to "Conqueror". He walked in a strange fashion toward us, keeping his spear pointed in our direction.
When he finally came within talking distance, he still had his spear pointed. In a voice of hatred, he said, "Hello, hobo and company. Are we to waste our time with meetings? Or are we going to fight?"
"Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken," my companion said. "You might as well give up now. Your walruses are not suited for the desert, and either way, your army is too small to do any damage."
"Oh, but it isn't, Armaj, it isn't."
"Armaj?" I asked my companion.
"That's my name," came the reply.
"Ah. You know, it was kind of odd that you never told me your-"
"SILENCE!" yelled Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken. "You two are doomed. You will be-"
But before we knew what evil plan the dictator had in store for us, Armaj yelled:
"FIRE!"
A dart was fired at Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken, and he sank down to the ground.
"Is he really-" I asked Armaj.
"Dead? No, but he'll have a lot of pain when he wakes up tomorrow morning. These darts hurt. Look, they're already surrendering."
And it was indeed true. Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken was the best of the Norsklanders, and without him, they would surrender. They dragged his limp, lifeless-looking body back away.
"And that is how you win a battle," said Armaj. "I have no doubt that when Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken wakes up, he will want revenge. This will likely start a war.
"And I shall have to thank you, Hobo Bob, for the crucial distraction you set up. Without you, Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken would have no doubt seen the soldier behind him that was waiting for my command."
"So, is this the last that I'll ever see of you?" I asked him.
"I do not think so," he responded. "Whenever you want to call me, I have set up your phone so that if you press seven, it will reach me."
Then I faded into blackness...
And now I'm here typing this post.
--Hobo Bob

Vacation Description

2008-08-13T17:52:00.000-07:00

Hello readers! This is Hobo Bob, of Hobo Town, Alabama, displaying my writing on the Shack now for the 46th time. (I'll do something special for the 50th post.)
In response to one of my comments from a user called maine1 (the state?) I will do a brief sketch of my adventures in Nebraska.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I mentioned before, I had a friend with a car and lots of money, and he offered to take me somewhere.
"How about Nebraska?" I said, as a joke.
"Sure," he said, in all seriousness.
Well, I'd never been to Nebraska before, and it sounded like an interesting place, so I decided not to tell him that I was joking.

We agreed to leave on a Tuesday, so I packed some things, and when Tuesday came around, we headed off.
We drove for a long time, and then we got to Lincoln, so he dropped me off. The deal was, he was going to drop me off there, but I had to get my way back. I wasn't nervous, though. I am a pretty good hitchhiker, if I do say so myself.
Well, I survived in the city pretty well, getting food for myself, saying hi to passerby, that sort of thing. The only thing that seemed to be missing was hobos. No matter how many times I walked around the city, I couldn't find any!
Then, one day, while I was walking down Plum Street, I saw one. As soon as he saw me, he started to run away.
"Come back!" I shouted.
He turned his head.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"Hobo Bob, of Hobo Town, Alabama."
"Oh!" he shouted. "Are you the one who has the blog?"
"The very same."
"Come then. Follow me." He started to run towards South 12th Street. I followed.
We then went on a crazy tour of the city. Down Peach Street we went, up South 6th, eastwards on Garfield, down South 17th (one of the more prominent streets of the city).
When we finally stopped we were on a little street called Harwood. We ducked in an alley, and crowded in there were about 10 hobos. So this is where they all were! I thought to myself, amazed at how many there were in this tiny alley.
"Brothers!" my companion said. "We have here Hobo Bob!"
All of the hobos clapped loudly.
"You see, we read your blog," said my companion, clearly the leader of the group. "We like it very much. When it said you were going to go to Nebraska, we thought maybe you would come here. We have been searching for you for the past few days."
"Then why'd you run away when you saw me?"
"You look just like a civilian with those clothes."
I looked at the clothes I had on - the ones my friend had given me. It was true, they did make me look like a civilian - albeit a civilian with a beard.
"So what is this gathering here?" I asked.
"We are the unofficial Lincoln Hobo Democracy," a tall hobo in the corner said. "There are the Lincoln Hobo Communists too, but we don't associate with them very much."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"You may call me Hobo Joe," the leader said. "Or just Joe for short."
So I made friends with this guy, and his friends were friendly to me. He showed me all of these neat places to go, and all these things to see.

But, alas, then came the time where I had to go. We said our goodbyes, and I said thank you, and then I went. It took a few days to get home, but, you know, that's usually how it goes when you have to hitchhike it from Lincoln, Nebraska, to Hobo Town, Alabama. They aren't right next to each other.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that was my vacation. Lincoln sure is an interesting place, and I'd like to go there again.
--Hobo Bob
P.S. What would you guys think if I made hobobobspancakeshack.com?

Back from the trip and feeling good!

2008-08-10T16:10:00.000-07:00

Hello, all three of you who actually check the site regularly (hint, hint)! This is Hobo Bob, who has finally come back from his long trip to Nebraska! (Those of you who weren't even aware that I was gone, you've really got to check the site more often.)
In case you ask me, Nebraska was great, and I had a fun week and a half there. I loved how it was so natural-looking out there, and the hobos were so nice! I'm enclosing a picture of the Welcome to Nebraska sign:

Nice place, huh?
And while I was there I happened to see the movie The Dark Hobo, so there's a review around the corner. In the meantime, just wait for it. It's a very good movie and I liked it very much, although it was a bit, ahem, noir for my tastes. Just wait. You'll enjoy it.
Also, my USB cord, essential for making the YouTube video thingy, should be coming soon. Hang in there. I know that I've been promising it for awhile, but, to quote another video-maker,
"It shouldn't be long now. But you probably shouldn't hold your breath."
Signing off,
--Hobo Bob

Another vacation

2008-07-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

Hi, there. Hobo Bob again.
I am going to be leaving for a rather long trip tomorrow, to Nebraska. A nice person with a car and lots of money agreed to take me there. I'll find some other way to get home.
So I'll be gone for awhile, but don't let that make you not check back every day or so, because I'm going to be posting right when I get back here.

I'll see you later with lots of stories of Nebraska!
--Hobo Bob

Finally updated!

2008-07-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody!
This is Hobo Bob, still alive and well and ready for anything. I would be sending the camera equipment to my filmer for the Hobo Bob commercial right now if it wasn't for the lack of a USB type B-mini cable to link to the computer. I suppose I could be filming right now but I couldn't get it onto the computer, so I'm just going to wait until the USB cable gets here. (My brother was sending me one.) Speaking of my brother, he seems to have so much money that he could probably stop being a hobo if he wanted to. Maybe he's a hobo by choice.

The commercial's going to be pretty good, but I'm afraid it won't be in my house. I'm going to send the supplies to my filmer and he's going to make the commercial with the guidance of some papers I will give him. Then he will send the equipment and the mini DV tape back, and I will upload it onto YouTube.
And then, hopefully, more people will come here and I will be happy.

Work on the Pancake Shack has been coming along smoothly, and my menu has long since been submitted to Mr. Robbie Ensimmäinen, my businessman. He likes it, and has told me so multiple times.
And when the pancake shack is finished, I will post a picture of it.

--Hobo Bob

The Return of the Posts

2008-07-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

I am very frustrated about my Internet as it has kept me from posting for some time now. But now it's back, and I can post again, so I will do so.
First of all, expect a Hobo Bob commercial coming on to my YouTube channel sometime, so I might be able to gain some popularity. If you want to help, contact me by way of my email (shown on this page and my profile). We'll work something out.
I will not be appearing in it myself, as I am a horrible actor, but then I'm not even sure that there will be actors / actresses. So, just hang tight.
Second of all, I might be watching the movie The Dark Hobo soon (a very, very popular movie.) If I do, I will post a review.
Third of all, I have finally noticed the results from the poll, and understand that you want me to make a T-Shirt shop. I will try and do that.

My life in Hobo Town hasn't really changed lately, aside from this one thing:
I now have a bigger box! I can now accommodate my two anteaters and me and maybe another pet in the box without being cramped.
I gave my old box to a hobo who didn't have one. He was delighted, as the box isn't too cramped for a hobo who lives alone, and of course there was the pleasure of getting a roof over your head, even if it's cardboard.
On second thought, it never really rains in Hobo Town anyway, but I suppose it's a bit comfier than having to live on the street.
--Hobo Bob

A rebellion?

2008-07-18T03:30:00.000-07:00

When I woke up yesterday morning, I was in my box.
But that was about to change...
I was on my computer and was playing games on NotDoppler when a knock came at my door.
"Come in!" I said.
There was blackness and nothing more.
I woke up in a small white chamber. A man was sitting in front of me. He looked very odd.
"You're from Norskland, aren't you?" I said, bored of these kidnappings that the Norsklanders commited at least monthly.
"No, actually. I'm from Singapore," he said in an accent.
"How long was I out?"
"A day and a half."
"A day and a half?!?" I said incredulously. "My popularity will have dropped to zero by then!"
"Popularity?" he asked.
After a few seconds, he got it. "Oh, you're the Hobo Bob who makes Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack! My daughter loves your blog!"
"Well, that's good to know. But why are you holding me here?" I responded.
His voice suddenly got quiet. "Well, obviously, since you're the Pancake Shack Hobo Bob, and you asked me if I was Norsklandic, you know about the Norsklanders and their evil plan to take over the world."
At this I nodded. I told him how they had kidnapped me at least three times now.
"Well, we're planning to rebel against the Norsklanders, and we'd like a hobo or two in our force. What a pleasant surprise that you happen to know of them. That leaves me to do a lot less explaining. Basically, all you need to do is be here in a month. We will find you."
And then I was blindfolded and taken back to my box.
So if you wanted to meet me at this time in August, I don't think I can come. I've finally found someone else in the world who knows and hates what the Norsklanders have done.
--Hobo Bob

Interesting...

2008-07-14T14:26:00.000-07:00

So, the last two days I've been without internet. Honestly, it glitches so much, I'm thinking of somehow switching to a different broadband connection (though it would be hard, since I'm a hobo.)
Funny thing, though, my popularity decided to go on a freefall for those two days. Now Zell's more popular than me. (And by the way, if you don't know who Zell is, check out some of the archived posts on the blog and you will find him. But I wonder lately if he's given up on his blog, since nobody was coming to the blog except me and he hasn't posted lately. But by all means, check out his blog if you want to. It's on my account.)
As you can imagine, I'm not too happy about that. But I'm even more ticked about this tax thing.
You see, oddly enough, the shop clerks, who are supposed to know about the city, seem to be the only ones who don't know that there's hobos living here. As a result of this, they don't know anything about anything here. As a result of that, they still charge tax for things.
Honestly, everyone here but them knows that we don't charge tax in Hobo Town because of its high hobo population. (Before the year 1974, though, we did, but it was getting to be a real hassle with the hobos, whom the town is named after, so we made a no-tax law. But that was before I was born, and I wasn't born here, anyway, so I didn't get to witness that.) The way to get by that with the government is, when they find no taxes came to our city this year, we make a remark about how little tourists come here and then we run away as fast as we can.
Yesterday, because I was without internet, I decided to get a movie (I had managed the money) and watch it on the computer, so I looked at the price of HOBO-E at our local video store, Hobodeos. It was 9 dollars and 99 cents.
And what a coincidence! I had brought exactly $9.99 to spend at Hobodeos! So I paid the clerk for HOBO-E, and he said:
"Sorry, guy, 5% Alabama tax rate."
I was tossed out of the store because I complained so much.
And I can't believe it! Just a little lack of research cost me a nice movie night!
Oh, I hate clerks that aren't in sync with tax rates, or lack of tax rates in this case.
But I'm glad the internet's back up.
--Hobo Bob

On Norsklanders is here!

2008-07-10T16:54:00.000-07:00

The expansion of Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack grows yet more with the addition of a new blog:
On Norsklanders!
This clever blog explores the exciting nature / culture of this interesting nation, not in Norsklandic!
Be sure to check it out if you want to find out more about these people!
It's:
norskland.blogspot.com
Don't you think that that's a pretty good URL to get before anyone else does?
Because I think so.
Also, I am planning to make a Hobo Bob advertisement, maybe post it on YouTube. Does anyone know how to make music / has made anything music-wise?
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Work on the Pancake Shack remains smooth, and they are probably going to complete it in a month! I am so excited!

A New Forum!

2008-07-09T15:23:00.000-07:00

A brand new forum!
http://z4.invisionfree.com/Hobo_Bob/index.php?c=2
Feel free to message me and post on the forum. Anybody can, but you can also make an account.
Also, I will be creating a separate blog all about the Norsklanders, for all you Norsklandic fans. All three of you.
In other news, the pancake shack is well under development, and I sent Ensimmäinen my completed menu, meaning that my dream will finally be realized. I will make the Pancake Shack!
Hobo Town is going well, although they're thinking of taking down the hobo museum.
They are going to try and replace it with a hotel super-building. But why someone would want to travel and find lodging in Hobo Town, I don't know. It isn't a very famed place. (But maybe they'd come to visit me.)
Anyway, I don't like it. So I am going to start a petition. Whoever comments on this blog can choose to have their comment count by saying it does.
SAVE THE HOBO MUSEUM!

Well, that's about it. Bye!
--Hobo Bob

YouTube any?

2008-07-08T16:41:00.000-07:00

I have made a YouTube account! Finally, after all those long days of waiting, you get to see it!
If you want to visit it, it's at http://www.youtube.com/user/TheHoboWhoIsNamedBob.
Give me feedback!
--Hobo Bob

Two posts in two days! Incredible!

2008-07-07T14:39:00.000-07:00

Hello to all of you who are reading this. This is probably the first time in awhile that I've posted two days in a row. So, some news:
I have now become a contributor to a blog by request. This is a high honor, and thus I would like to thank stickinmud for letting me be on his blog. So by all means, visit it because now not only stickinmud will be posting, but me as well!
Yay!!
The Norsklanders have dropped their national anthem and flag, and changed them respectively to the song "Our Hatred of Hobo Bob", a wonderful song about how much everybody hates me there, and a flag showing a picture of me Xed out.
Well, at least I know who isn't my fan.
Life in Hobo Town is going okay, but I'm running out of ants for the anteaters. Maybe I'll try and buy some for them with the very little money I have now. Last time I bought an economy size box of ants, it was for a pretty good price, but I don't know what the price is now. And now since we have two anteaters to feed, the ants go by twice as fast, so I don't know what I'm going to do.
Awhile back I met this other hobo called Link Squall. He runs an iced tea stand near where I live and I bought some of his iced tea (because it was very cheap.) It was some of the best iced tea I've ever tasted! You can check out his blog on http://www.elficedtea.blogspot.com(here.) I also told him about my blog, and if you have been commenting, you should have noticed that he has been commenting as well. He'll be happy that I talked about him.
Well, that's about it.
--Hobo Bob

HOBO-E, Part II

2008-07-07T03:35:00.000-07:00

Hello, and welcome back again to...
The Hobo Bob Show!
Today I'm going to finish up my movie review of HOBO-E.
Ahem...
So, Eve has now become strangely unresponsive, so HOBO-E desperately tries to wake her up from her trance. When she proves all but impossible to wake, HOBO-E decides to care for her. He listens to music with her, he stands out in the rain with her, he does work with her...
Anyway, you get the idea. But this was not to last...
A couple of days later, something big touches down out of the sky, and Eve, though unresponsive, is drawn towards it by some sort of technological force. Apparently it has come to pick up Eve from where it let her off at.
In the meantime, HOBO-E is working, so he doesn't see any of this. But when he hears the loud noise of a rocket taking off, he immediately dashes towards it, never to be separated from Eve. He runs as time runs out. Who will win?

Well, it turns out HOBO-E finally hitchhikes on the spaceship (something all futuristic hobos and hobots should know how to do), though by the very skin of his teeth.
He isn't able to get inside.
So he goes on a wild ride, sometimes almost unable to hold on to the side of the spaceship.
But when it slows down (fortunately for him) he takes a look inside. Eve is with several other hobots obviously of the same build. The only way to tell her apart from the others is that she is the only hobot that has the sock image flashing on her body. HOBO-E makes a vow to save her, then hangs on to the spaceship away from her again.
Eventually, the spaceship reaches its final destination: a giant, huge, ginormous, gihoundous other ship that curiously looks like a cruise ship! All of the passengers are loaded into it, where we see hobots scanning the Eve-like hobots. But when they reach Eve and scan her, a red light turns on and an alarm goes off. HOBO-E is determined to get Eve and himself to safety, so he runs off with her, faster than the other hobots can go.
When they get out of the scanning room, they find themselves in a sort of hobot highway. HOBO-E (since he is the only one responsive and is the one carrying Eve) tries not to run into traffic, but he does.
At first, there appears to be only hobots aboard this highway, but if you look closely, you can see dome-shaped giant chairs holding somewhat uh... hefty hobos. It appears that they never get any excercise because machines do all their work for them, and when they fall out of their chairs, they aren't able to get back in because they can't stand up!
So hobo-anity seems in pretty bad shape here. But that's not HOBO-E's main concern as he zooms through traffic.
On several occasions, Eve slips out of his hands. She is unresponsive, so she can't move anyway. So HOBO-E has to find her. He does, easily, but that doesn't prevent HOBO-E from getting more than a bit freaked out.
And, somehow, the two find themselves in the captain's room. Thankfully, the captain himself doesn't see HOBO-E, but he comes very close. He becomes more excited with the fact that they might be going back to Earth!
What, you say? Going back to Earth?
Well, it seems that hobos had ruined earth with all their pollution, and eventually, even socks dissolved in the poisonous atmosphere, making it really hard to get things done, apparently. (But I don't have a problem. Have you read Sideways Stories from Wayside School?)
So, the world leaders proposed a plan in which they evacuated Earth and sent probes out regularly (one of them was Eve), and if any socks came back, they would know that Earth was not as polluted as it was and recolonize it. It had been a few centuries since the space cruise took off, and the captain had never seen a probe come back positive! So, he watches a little video about when they find the sock, what they are supposed to do step by step to go back to Earth.
He seems very excited about this, so he is very disappointed when he discovers that the sock is no longer in Eve, and thinks that she may be a crazy hobot, so she puts her in the asylum.
So, to make ten thousand characters into about 100, HOBO-E busts Eve out of the hobot asylum (she isn't very happy about that because now both HOBO-E and her are marked as 'rogue hobots'), finds the sock, and takes it back to the captain all in about twenty minutes of the movie.
The captain is obviously very excited about this as he has been thinking all about Earth.
But the hobots (besides Eve, who probably wants to do anything for the captain and HOBO-E, who probably wants nothing better than to go back home with Eve) have different plans. Much later in the movie, they show why the captain could not go home. After he made the video about returning to Earth, the very, very former captain basically said to forget about it, they were never going to return to Earth. It was too polluted.
But the captain wants to go, so a tremendously huge battle starts, between the hobots (besides HOBO-E and Eve) and the hobos. I'm not going to tell you what happens at the end, though. Why? Because then you might see the movie.
And I highly recommend it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
END OF MOVIE REVIEW
THANK YOU FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TO READ THIS
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Sorry this post took so long to make. This is simply because I started last night and was getting very tired, so I finished this this morning. Beautiful day out, huh?
P.P.S. I might be making a YouTube channel, for those of you who might be interested.

HOBO-E

2008-07-04T15:29:00.000-07:00

As mentioned in my last post, while I was in Ohio, I watched the movie HOBO-E.
I think I'll do a review, since I happened to like it.
So...

The movie starts by zooming over a seemingly random deserted hobo city in a direction to somewhere as yet unknown to us while the opening credits play. While this is happening, the song "Get On Your Sunday Rags" from the hit hobo musical "Hey, Folly!" plays.
A single company seems to dominate everything: "Broke and Large". There's Broke and Large gas stations, Broke and Large banks, anything you can think of with the name Broke and Large.
Finally we go into where we were getting to in the first place: We see a small machine, dressed in dirt, doing his job: Compacting trash and moving it somewhere else.
While we see this happening, the hobot (combination of hobo and robot) goes by billboards that explain the purpose of the hobot, whose name and model is called HOBO-E, which stands for something that I forget: It is supposed to clean up while hobo humans go on intergalactic cruises. You get the idea that this was once a big city, and everybody deserted it because it was too polluted. You see a cricket friend that he has, and he seems to be willing to do anything to defend it. He also finds a sock that plays a very important role later in the movie. He stuffs it in an old boot, and moves on.
Occasionally you will see that he finds something that he apparently likes, and he keeps it and puts it in a lunchbox.
Finally, it's the end of another day, and HOBO-E goes back to his home, which, of course, is a giant box. He takes his time, just unlocking the place and such, when suddenly, a twister comes! Then, he really doesn't waste any time getting into the box.
After he's in, he puts on the classic "Hey, Folly!" on a grimePod and magnifies it with a magnifying screen. While he listens to the song, he basically just fools around with his tools and puts everything that he found that day on a little shelf that he has.
When it's time for bed, the hobot makes a space for himself on his little shelf and literally rocks himself to sleep by giving the shelf a little push (it rotates around.)
But things are about to change for the little hobot.
A day or two later, he climbs out of bed when he sees some sort of rocketship land near him. When he races out to see what has happened and why the ship came here, of all places to be, he gets really close to the ship, to see another, more shiny (but not too shiny, that would ruin the purpose of it being a hobot) hobot come out of the ship.
And when HOBO-E sees the other hobot come out of the ship, he instantly falls head-over-bulldozer treads in love. It's the least grimy thing he has ever seen in his life!
Then the hobot sees him...
...and immediately tries to blast him into oblivion with her trademark GrimeGun. Obviously, HOBO-E is a bit scared afterwards, so he tries to avoid the hobot. But he can't seem to stay away from her, so he follows her... just out of her sight.
One time, the hobot is with his beetle friend, following the other hobot, when the beetle, which has no name, decides to go and see what the other hobot is really like. HOBO-E tries to stop it, but he is too late.
But the other hobot doesn't zap the beetle. She actually lets it crawl around on her a little bit before letting it down. By this time HOBO-E has moved about in wonder to see what is happening. But when the other hobot turns around, it's too late for HOBO-E to hide.
The other hobot's instinct is to attack, but she thinks different when she sees the beetle climbing on him like it did on her. He might just be trusted.
Eventually, the two become friends, and then HOBO-E invites the other hobot, whose name is Eve, into his box. He shows Eve "Hey, Folly!" and pretty much everything else he has.
But when he shows her the sock, she suddenly starts to shudder.
A compartment opens, and then she takes the sock and boot and puts it in the compartment! Then, an icon that resembles a sock starts flashing on her body and she becomes curiously unresponsive...
PART ONE OF TWO POSTS
NEXT ONE WILL BE COMING TOMORROW OR THE NEXT DAY, DEPENDING ON HOW LAZY HOBO BOB IS
--Hobo Bob

I'm Back!

2008-07-02T15:31:00.001-07:00

In the past few weeks, I went to Ohio to see my cousin, Hobo Frank. He seems to be coping well, considering he's a hobo. I was glad to see him again because I haven't in 10 years!
For those of you wondering how I got there and back, I got there by sneaking onto an airplane's baggage compartment (it was kind of cold and kind of windy there) and I got back by hitchhiking on several cars until I got back home.
But, now I'm back, and you can all rest easy knowing that Hobo Bob is in Hobo Town again.
And, I watched a Pixbum animation film while I was there: HOBO-E. So you should see a movie review coming soon.
I might be making T-Shirts for the Pancake Shack if I can, so fans can display themselves proudly as fans.
In the meantime, start telling people who have given up on me that I'm back, because I really want them to know that I am back (if anybody's reading this).
But enough about me...
How are you?
--Hobo Bob

Good News!

2008-06-18T03:37:00.000-07:00

You can now comment anonymously on this site! This means that no matter who you are, or where you are, you can comment as long as you have a computer and internet! Yay!
And another thing... Please don't spam me. I don't like being spammed. If you look at the comments on the last post and see the comments, 3/5 of them are spam. I don't really want that.
So... that's good. But what's bad is even worse...
Hobo Bob has just dropped A LOT in popularity. We need to bring him back by telling our friends, neighbors, cousins, uncles, aunts, kids, nephews, nieces, even your grandparents! If the Pancake Shack site drops one more time in popularity... I don't know what I'll do.
There's also more things happening in Hobo Town:
Ensimmäinen has started construction on the Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack building and I'm trying to make the menu but I'm stuck on this soda thing. What exactly is soda? Please respond.
I'm going pretty well, though, on the rest of the menu. As any avid reader of the site will know (and by the way, to be an avid reader, you must check every day or every other day), because of a userpoll, Latkes will be a premiere pancake at the Pancake Shack. But, some people don't like Latkes. So I made another premiere pancake (besides the Breakfast Meat pancake, my personal favorite), and that is the Strawberry Overload pancake, a pancake with strawberries in it with strawberry sauce and strawberry whipped cream on top. Of course, if you don't like any of those, you can go down for any of the regular pancakes, like Blueberry, or Regular, or Extra Light and Fluffy.
So there are now three pancakes! Cool, huh? But sometimes you come in the afternoon, or at dinnertime, and you're really dying to be served something else besides pancakes. Well, how about...
Hobo Pies?
That's right, my friend, Hobo Pies, a dinner sort of food, with all sorts of things stuffed inside them.
There's gonna be the Pizza Hobo Pie, the Hamburger/Cheeseburger Hobo Pie (you can have either), the Pizza Cheeseburger Hobo Pie (there's no Hamburger option, since the Pizza part of the pie already has cheese on it), the Steak Hobo Pie, the Potato Hobo Pie, the Egg Hobo Pie (poached), the Chicken Hobo Pie, the Chicken, Egg, Potato and Steak Hobo Pie, the Turkey Hobo Pie, the Roadkill Hobo Pie (whatever we find on the side of the road), the Burrito Hobo Pie (for you international hobos), the Lamb Hobo Pie, the Venison Hobo Pie (for those wishing to pretend to be a king in 1637 or something like that), the Porcupine Hobo Pie (you get to keep the toothpicks for no extra charge), the Muskrat Hobo Pie, and the Fruity Hobo Pie!
There will also be dessert Hobo Pies, but I haven't thought of that.
Well, th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!
--Hobo Bob
P.S. To coco22, yes, saving the flamingos is a big issue in my life right now. I will try to do that even more.

An Elephant Ride

2008-06-16T03:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, when I walked out of my box after waking up and saying hi to Mark and Josephine and feeding them, I saw something.
It was an elephant.

There are two reasons that elephants never come to Hobo Town: A. It isn't in Africa or Asia. B. There's so much dust in the air, I struggle to think how, when elephants come, they don't suffocate, and C. Not many people even train elephants anyway except maybe some people in a circus and we don't even get a circus in Hobo Town.

But there was an elephant walking right in front of me. So, naturally, I wanted to meet the person who was taking control of such a fine animal, maybe they'd let me ride! It has always been my dream (well, one of my dreams) to ride an elephant.
So I talked to the person and eventually convinced him to let me ride (he'd heard of Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack) if I'd let him a place in the Pancake Shack as a manager.
I said sure, if you let me ride, and suddenly, I found myself having to get dressed in these really weird clothes and ride it in a funny way all around town. It was still magnificent though.
What with all the wind in my hair, the glory and pride, the feeling of the superiority, the only oddity was the clothes.
"Is this what the Africans did?" I asked the elephant owner.
"Yep," he responded, probably knowing nothing about the Africans' riding of elephants and what they put on. I actually felt more Indian (not like Midwest Indian, like Taj Mahal, Bollywood Indian) than African, but it was one of the best times of my life.
We walked or ran all around town, depending on whether the elephant was angered by dust getting in his lungs or not.
Then I got off back at my house and I had a normal day for the rest of the day, proving that you don't know what you have until it's gone.
Well, at least I already have a manager's space filled.
--Hobo Bob
P.S. I'm having a little difficulty on the Pancake Shack Menu. Ensimmäinen told me to put "sodas" on the menu, but what are they? Please tell me what they are, because the word sounds interesting and I want to make Ensimmäinen happy.
P.P.S. I wonder if Zell made a new post. If he did, check it out, if you want to. If he didn't, no wonder. He seems like a very strange guy, and I'm not going to advertise him anymore. If you didn't see the first post, see it now!

Zell

2008-06-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile.
I know that's the beginning of a lot of posts, but I know I haven't posted in awhile and I'm sorry. Internet goes down a lot in Hobo Town.
Robbie Ensimmäinen is wanting me to sell T-Shirts, and I'm wondering whether or not he's right. I personally think that the blog would be more popular if we did.
Anyway, yesterday I was snacking on some toast, just minding my own business, when a hobo, looking particularly unshaven (I don't bother myself, I have a beard) asked me if he could sleep here for the night. His name is Zell, and he has a 'gangsta' accent.
I said yes, anyway, since hobo brethren live under a strict code of helping each other out, and a bit into the night he asked me if he could make a Blogger blog on my account.
I also said yes to that, so here is his blog.
Needless to say, you kind of get the idea that he was raised by gangsters:
http://zellsblogfools.blogspot.com/
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Isn't his blog weird?

My Schedule

2008-06-12T03:35:00.000-07:00

A bit of a while ago, somebody commented that I should make a time management course for hobos. Well, I put two and two together in my head, and thought that was a good idea. While I don't have the course ready yet, here's MY schedule:

1:00-9:00 AM: Wake up! Practice bongos if there is time until nine o' clock.

9:01-10:00 AM: Get yourself breakfast by begging for food. If breakfast does not come by 10, grab a piece of bread from your secret bread stash, and toast it.

10:01-11:00 AM: After breakfast, beg for food and money. Work a little bit on the Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack menu. Feed anteaters ants. Say hi to people.

11:01-11:30 AM: Do absolutely nothing for 29 minutes.

11:30 AM - 12:00 PM: Beg for food and money.

12:01-2:00 PM: Time for lunch! The nice lunch man will usually drop by and give me a sandwich or some soup or something. I've never seen anyone who does that except him. If you eat lunch quickly enough, have some free time.

2:01-2:59 PM: Watch freight trains go by. Count how many hitchhikers are on each one. I once counted fifty of them, and they all looked like hobos.

3:00-3:59 PM: Have a mid-afternoon snack, consisting of either toast or anything else you can get. Afterwards, practice bongos.

4:00-5:59 PM: Beg, beg, and beg some more.

6:00-7:59 PM: Have some sort of dinner. Note: If it is moving off of your plate, it does not constitute as dinner as it is obviously still alive. If this happens, eat some toast.

8:00-9:00 PM: Feed anteaters ants again, floss teeth with guitar string, and turn in for the night.

9:01 PM - 1:00 AM: Sleep.

How do you like it?
--Hobo Bob
P.S. I really really really really need some suggestions for my menu in comment form if you would, please.
P.P.S. Make sure you read this:
P.P.P.S: I am likely to switch over to LiveJournal soon. I understand completely that some people might want me to stay over here, but you are able to comment without a Google account there. Please tell me what you feel about this.

A present

2008-06-09T14:32:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up...
and knew that something would happen. I raced out the flap just after flossing my teeth with a guitar string and saying hi to Mark and Josephine.
And then I went down to the Hobo House.
It's a bit of an exaggeration, for the Hobo House is really a giant box that doubles as a museum... of hobos.
It's also where I go if I'm trying to find out what I need to do on any particular day.
I stared at this painting, and it seemed to tell me to go back to my box, and see what was happening. Call me crazy, but that's what it did...
So I raced back to my box, and I found...
a note on my flap saying that there had been a delivery, but I had missed it.
So I raced to the post office, and found my mail slot and package backup, 142 1/4 Homeless Boulevard. I took it and ran back to my box.
As I furiously unwrapped it, Mark nudged me. "What is it, boy?" I asked him.
He was sniffing at the package, as it was from my brother. He could smell beaver anywhere.
I opened the box and along with other things, there was a year's supply of ants for Mark and Josephine, and for me, A TOASTER!
Toasters are treasured among hobos as sockwarmers and, well, toasters. Now I can heat my bread before I eat it! Isn't that a wonderful thing?
So let's see how many things I have in my box:
-a computer,
-Broadband internet,
-a phone,
-two anteaters,
-wallpaper,
and now a toaster! I sure am living the luxury life.
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Who needs a house?

Poll Closed! Latkes Rules!

2008-06-06T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well, the pancake poll ended! It seems the winner was Latkes, with not one, not two, but three votes, ladies and gentlemen. It seems not very many people are coming to this site, but, I'm going to post anyway until they do. I'm also going to add a counter to my blog to see how many people are coming. That should give you a reason to come, huh?
So, Latkes will be the premiere pancake in Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack, as the people have spoken! We will do all we can with latkes, but we will also be selling the Breakfast Meat pancake as a premiere item as it came in a close second.
I talked with Robbie Ensimmäinen today in person and he is going to put the Shack in development soon. He will be putting it here in Hobo Town, as long as I develop a menu for it.
So I have some things to come up with. Feel free to comment and add things to it, in fact, I'd love you to do it!
The deadline happens to be exactly a month from now, July 6.
I will also be posting another poll soon, about maybe switching over to Freewebs or LiveJournal or something where you can comment even if you don't have an account. Will that make things easier for you?
If I happen to make the change, tell all of your friends that it has changed. I would like people to do that.
Meanwhile, I might be posting yet another poll about people's favorite sports teams. Myself, I like the Hoboville Freight Trains, but that's another story.
So basically, just have fun on the site! People say that they don't have enough time, but if you personally happen to, swing by the old blog and comment or something.
Well, that's about it.
--Hobo Bob

Indiana Hobo

2008-06-05T03:14:00.000-07:00

You know what?
I liked the new Indiana Hobo movie so much I think I'll write a review on it.
It's that good. Ahem...
So, this story takes place 25 or so years after Indiana Hobo and the Last Crusade and starts like Iron Hobo, with a bunch of people riding in American army trucks. But unlike Iron Hobo, Indy isn't there.
And the people who are riding in the trucks...
ARE RUSSIAN HOBOS.
In 1959, when this story takes place, alongside with the Cold War, there was a cold war between hobos in Russia and hobos in America. See, they had very different ideas on whether we should speak Hoboese very much or not. We said that we could speak Hoboese all we wanted.
But the Russians wanted us to speak...
RUSSIAN.
Needless to say, neither of us won that war, or I would either be telling you this in Hoboese or typing Cyrillic characters, but you get my point. Things were rough back then.
So, the Russians pull into Area 51.1415926535.
They shoot the people guarding the area that has sparked mystery ever since then.
Then they open the trunks...
And out comes Indy, a lot older than they have ever seen him, with an Australian hobo friend. The Russians don't have guns, but threaten to sing to him if he moves or does anything out of line.
And believe me, these people were especially picked for their bad singing skills. It seems that they were so bad at singing that they actually could torture people with their singing.
And there was only one song that they were taught to sing.
MMM...BOP!
So, they were pretty lethal, so Indy stays still, but his partner puts his hands up.
Indy puts them down again, and then the partner puts them up again.
Then, a Ukranian hobo with a very weird accent pops out of one of the trucks (she would pronounce very weird vedy veuhd.)
She says that Indy has to find a certain mummy for her. When Indy doesn't know what she's talking about, she reminds him that he was on the expedition for this mummy.
So Indy tries to find it with gunpowder because the wrappings of the mummy besides the mummy itself are highly magnetized. But then he remembers that they don't have guns, so he uses his trusty compass to find it.
Once it is found they open it, but Indy can't help thinking that this is wrong.
So he tries to hold the Ukranian woman for hostage by threatening to sing to her (he's a pretty bad singer himself) and the Russians fall, but then they all rise and point their microphones at him because Indy's Australian partner has betrayed him. He is sad, but after a deft chase scene, he is shot out into the countryside by a rocket, away from the Russians. Then he walks out to a town, but it's very odd.
No one is there. Everyone is a blank model.
Then, Indy realizes where he is.
HE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A BOMB TEST SITE.
At first he thinks he is doomed, but then he remembers something: refrigerators are good protectors, and so he gets into one right before the bomb goes off.
When civilization is found, he is scanned for any signs of radioactivity. He doesn't have any radioactivity, of course, so he is taken and questioned for his friendship with the Australian traitor.
"I thought he was in M16," he says to the HBI (Hoboal Bureau of Investigation).
They don't seem to take that, and say that for now, all of his acts are questioned as being ones of terrorism.
So he goes back to the school he teaches at to teach, but he figures out that the HBI have effectively ruined him by causing the headmaster of the school he teaches at to fire him.
So, when he gets on a train, someone stops him. He says his name is Mutt, and one of Indy's friends is in terrible danger because the Russians have him and a friend of his, Marion, is in danger.
He doesn't know anything about this Marian, but he knows about his friend, who is named Dr. Muley. So the two go on a great adventure together, where Indy realizes that this "Marion" is one of the loves of his life, Marion Hobowood. He and Mutt, whom Marion eventually tells Indy that he's his son, and his real name is Henry Hobo III, along with Marion, eventually find a lost city, and the bad guys happen to destroy it, but they get a taste of their own medicine in turn.
I won't give the ending away, but it's a great way to end a quadrilogy of tremendous thought.
All in all, this really is a good movie and I hope that you get to see it.
--Hobo Bob

The VIB Awards

2008-06-03T16:51:00.000-07:00

Today was a truly marvelous day, as I saw the VIB (Very Important Beaver) awards today. I have never seen such cooperation between beavers and their trainers until now and I must say, if I had any money, I would give it all to this organization that keeps beaver training alive still today.
It all started with the announcer saying a little speech about the art of beaver training and how it must be handled, i.e. carefully. It lasted for about 10 minutes...
And then the show began.
And what a show it was...
I saw men doing absolutely everything with their beavers! I saw hula-hooping, I saw yo-yo games, I saw creative art, I saw leaping through the ring of fire, I saw ice sculpting, I saw baking, I saw anything and everything that you could see beavers doing with their trainers and some acts you wouldn't even dream of even thinking about!
Then it was time for my brother's show.
The One-Beaver Circus is what he called it, I think...
Well, anyways, it was magnificent! His beaver was truly an acrobat, zooming and gliding and soaring in the air. He looped, and looped, and looped until my eyes were tired. No really! He did!
It was so magnificent that the three judges stood up, APPLAUDED, and each, in turn, GAVE HIM A 10!
That was better than anyone else, so we AUTOMATICALLY GOT THE 1ST PRIZE! How cool is that?
And as we walked home, my brother said something to me that I am sure that I will never forget.
He said, "I'm glad I won, but winning isn't everything. It wouldn't matter to me if I lost."
And those words are what I am thinking of right now, with my brother and my two anteaters and my brother's beaver.
Life is good. Or in Norsklandic, "Morkeanningyytellantugatengatagg ggant atyllingg memem poinnegarten garntennagutenategg."
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Check out my new LiveJournal account (hobobob-pancake.livejournal.com). It's basically a new front for the site, but isn't it cool?

Pancakes!

2008-06-02T14:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, my computer wasn't letting me go online.
Mark and Josephine are doing fine, and my brother is still here. The VIB (Very Important Beaver) awards are tomorrow, and I am very confident that my brother will soar to victory!
Robbie Ensimmäinen, my business partner, says that he thinks that he can start the chain here in Hobo Town. With its high hobo population, he says, pancakes are a big priority, so lots of people will literally flock to the restaurant. He also says that he and I should have our first meeting soon. I will finally get to meet him in person!
I've started on Brokeback Freight Train, and it's very challenging. For instance, what does the word "instance" mean, on the first page? Beats me.
Also, I am very sad to announce that Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack is having almost no growth. If nobody is going to read this, than I may as well just stop. Tell your friends, tell them to tell their friends, instruct them to tell their friends to tell their friends, and so on!
Okay, enough with the ranting.
Do you know why I put the new poll up?
Because the FIRST PANCAKE that we are going to serve at Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack will be THAT PANCAKE! (I'm rooting for the Breakfast Meat one myself...)
If you comment on this site, you will also be PUBLICIZED in the restaurants! How cool will that be?
Have a nice day, and remember to vote Hobo Bob of the Hobo party (animal: slug) for President of the United States!
--Hobo Bob

FIRST FATHER-IN-LAW OF AN ANTEATER

2008-05-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

Today I married Mark and Josephine, based on the poll results, though I am discouraged to learn that one of you didn't care whether they married or not, and one of you thought I was crazy.
Aside from that though, everything went smoothly.
Mark was a real life of the party, and he ate so many ants it wasn't even funny. He didn't have much of a wedding vow, and neither did Josephine, but they both made this sort of grunt that was kind of high-pitched. When it was time to kiss the bride, Mark instead licked Josephine on the snout, and she did the same. Maybe that's the anteater version of a kiss.
And now I am a father-in-law of a female anteater - maybe the first in the world. Maybe I should apply in the Guinness Book of World Records for it.
I can just see the article right now...

FIRST FATHER-IN-LAW OF AN ANTEATER
Hobo Bob (USA) from Hobo Town, Alabama was the first person to adopt an anteater, and it was a big responsibility. Then Mark (the name of the adopted anteater), over time, started to fall in love with a girl anteater. Bob knew about this, so he quickly had the two married after a poll on his site seemed to think that it should be done, also making him the first person to marry two anteaters. Bob is still living in Alabama with the anteaters, bathing in money after his chain restaurant, Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack, spread all over the world, from Helsinki to London to the White House to Beijing. He has a good life when people in wooden shirts are not trying to attack him.

Well, maybe it had a bit of exaggeration in it, but, you know, it could happen!
--Hobo Bob
P.S. My friend and local computer guy and nerd and neighbor Nork Fizelmann was held innocent by the jury at his trial, so he should be moving back soon. Yay!

Bro! It's been so long!

2008-05-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

Today my brother came!
We talked and talked about a lot of things like the new Indiana Hobo movie, my kidnapping by Heisnergarternachtentuukiallin Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken (the crazy Norsklandic guy and the reason I still have nightmares about people with wooden shirts attacking me), and other stuff.
He also showed me this new trick his beaver, Charlie, can do.
Charlie started by doing a double flip through a ring of fire, then he did a double corkscrew shortly followed by a 1080 degree turn in the air, just to land down into a small pool of water.
Charlie has also been learning to speak English, after learning to speak Hoboese (a good beginner language for animals). My brother is thinking of entering him in the
Very Important Beaver contest (VIB) which is held here in Hobo Town, Alabama yearly. So it looks like he'll be staying awhile.
Also, Hobo Town, Alabama is building its first hotel here on Homeless Boulevard. It's going to be ten stories tall!
Meanwhile, my business partner is getting serious about making the first franchise of Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack either here or in Helsinki, the capital of Finland. I hope he decides on the former rather than the latter. The USA is a bit more comforting to me (especially compared to a country that borders Norskland).
--Hobo Bob

Thank goodness I'm home!

2008-05-27T14:14:00.000-07:00

Read the title!
When I woke up Thursday morning, somebody was knocking on my flap.
"Come in," I said, rather groggily.
Then something black was thrust over my head, and I was gone.
When I finally opened my eyes, I was in a maybe 10' by 10' chamber.
"Nice to see you came through," a man in shadows said with a creepily familiar accent.
Then he stepped out of the shadows, and I realized who he was.
It was the Norsklandic person who took me home from that crazy Norsklandic festival, Heisnergarternachtentuukiallin Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken, wooden shirt and all!
"Liakeinatargassentokukeingammenneiniirranginnikeingmaingojaijijungijnaalainmagutentaagkeinlallaingnammeneignieonwodidenedd," he said to me ominously. (That means hello in Norsklandic.)
"Why did you kidnap me, Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken?" I asked him.
"Because you were going to get in the way," he told me.
"Of what?"
"You see, hobo, I have a plan..."
And he told me about a crackpot scheme to have Norsklanders rule the world by intimidating all of the countries with their narwhals.
You see, Norskland, as I found out, has, along with their human army, a large population of war narwhals. They could easily take over a lot of countries with them.
When he finished, I asked him why he wanted to take over the world and when he planned to do it.
"A good question, hobo. Norsklanders are ridiculed and teased to the point of insanity because, mainly, of their wooden shirts and other such clothing. If we take over the world, number one, we'll have absolute control, and number two, we'll make everybody wear WOODEN SKIRTS!"
"Even the men?"
"EVEN THE MEN!"
"NOOOOOO!" I screamed.
"We plan to conquer our first country by Wednesday - and the best part is, we're not even represented in the U.N!
"And don't look for the way out, hobo, because the only way out is with a key, and I have the only one!"
I was devastated. Wednesday was when I was supposed to meet with my brother and his beaver!
"When do you plan to let me out?" I asked, praying for earlier than Wednesday.
Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken thought for a moment on this. "Friday," he finally said, "because the effects will be irreversible then!"
He kept me in that chamber for three days, feeding me horrible Norsklandic dishes such as fried squid intestine, or chilled monkey brains for dessert!
I knew I had to escape and notify the police, but how would I?
I then saw that he SLEPT WITH HIS KEY.
So, one night, when he was fast asleep, I quietly crept up to him, stole his key, and got out the door, all without waking him up! Tom Clancy, eat your heart out!
I was outside. I realized that I was at the site where the Norsklandfest was and I remembered the route back, so I walked home, notifying a local police officer of Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken along the way.
It took me three days, but I didn't complain after having to eat fried squid intestine.
And here I am, in my box on Homeless Blvd, just in time for my brother to come with his well-behaved, friendly beaver.
I gotta remember to have a strict policy to not serve to crazy Norsklandic people at Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack.
--Hobo Bob

Rendezvous!!!1!!

2008-05-21T13:42:00.000-07:00

Today I arranged a rendezvous with my brother, over the phone. It's going to happen next Wednesday at 4, and we're going to talk about life. He lives in Nohope, Arizona, so he probably has some little-town stories, opposed to big-city stories.
I'm very excited about that, and I hope he brings his beaver, Charlie. It's been ages since I last saw that beaver, and I've got to say, beavers must make great pets, because Charlie is the most behaved, sweet-tempered beaver I've ever seen.
Such nice relatives I am blessed to have.
Meanwhile, I have completed the reading course at HOTU. I've also read a very big novel - The Hobo in the Hat by Theocan Geisel - a.k.a. Dr. Can. I swear, it's about 200 words long! I plan to further my reading career by reading Brokeback Freight Train by Annie Holeworthy. (11 pages! That's gonna be a doozy.)
Mark seems to have found a girl anteater of whom he is quite fond of, who I have named Josephine, and I'm thinking of setting up a wedding for them, so I'm setting up a poll asking you if you think I should take this idea or banish it, and all traces of it, from my head.
Also, Robbie Ensimmäinen, my business partner, who got arrested for supposedly strangling one of his hobo clients, got out of jail.
It seems the hobo was actually confusing Ensimmäinen with someone else when he accused him of this heinous crime.
So, I'm good with him, for now.
--Hobo Bob

Ze Poll, eet ees done!

2008-05-21T03:21:00.000-07:00

Hi again. This is your friendly neighborhood Hobo Bob, and I'm just swinging by on my uh... vine to say hi and also mention that the poll is closed.
Let's see who won...
It's...
Mount Desert Island, ME, with 8, count 'em, 8 votes!
I wish I could live there, too. I just don't have enough money to do anything. My mom's always nagging me about it, because she wasn't born a hobo.
Hey, she's the one who married my dad, and his family were hobos for generations!
Something tells me that I'd have to be really lucky and\or rich to get there.
However, now I'm just fine with Hobo Town, Alabama.
Hey, it's got some scenic stuff too! Like the... big rock... and the other big rock... and the...
Ok, maybe it isn't as good as Mount Desert Island, but what do you think could have made it go to the prestigious award of 6 votes, in other words, 2nd place? Hmm?

So basically, thanks, everybody, for voting, and I'm probably going to set up a poll in the near future!
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Hobo Town, Alabama has the world record for the largest amount of hobos in one town! Why doesn't that make you want to come there??
P.P.S. My poor friend, Nork Fizelmann (the computer guy) got convicted of stealing parts from a computer and is sentanced to not only 90 days of community service, but (gasp) his computer is going to be TAKEN AWAY. (cue scream) I feel very sorry for Nork. He wasn't fairly held against, in the first place.
P.P.P.S. My business partner, Robbie Ensimmäinen, also just got arrested for trying to strangle one of his business partners, who was a hobo that couldn't speak English, but he spoke Hoboese. I think I'll stop looking for business partners for awhile. (Gulp!)

Policeman!

2008-05-20T14:23:00.000-07:00

Today, when I woke up, I realized something wasn't quite right.
So, I got out of bed, and then looked up at the steamroller right in front of me.
"Get the heck out of the way!" the guy in the steamroller said.
"Why?" I asked him, still dazed from my sleep.
"Because I'm digging a hobo hole!"
Now a hobo hole is something recognized by hobos everywhere. It is a place to make a home if you don't have anywhere else to go, and in Hoboese is referred to as an
U{q with macron on top and line coming off of it} tut.
But usually you can find other places to reside in a city, like me, and I have never seen someone trying to dig a hole with a steamroller.
When I asked him why he was digging a hole with a steamroller, he said he didn't know.
Then he fell asleep, and a police officer came and arrested him.
I had to go to a police station, too. I had never ridden in a car before, and it's a magnificent feeling! With you sitting down in the seat, and the car driving fast, and the wind in your hair...
When we finally got to the police station, the police officer took me and asked me a few questions. He threw me out of the station because when he asked me where I live, I said I didn't.
Must be a new guy. Hobo Town, Alabama is widely known for its hobo population.
Then I went home...
And right now, I'm just feeding Mark some ants.
--Hobo Bob
P.S. More hobo prejudice!!!!

Ritchie!!!

2008-05-19T14:51:00.000-07:00

You'll never guess who I met today!
Drum Roll...
Ritchie, the leader and lead singer and bongo player of Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers!
That rocking hobo band that recently made its tenth album, Back On The Freight Train.
I actually met him!
He was walking down the street my box is currently on (Homeless Blvd.) when I saw him!
We met and said hi and I shook his hand and we talked about his band and stuff. It was SO COOL! I actually got to rock with him on my guitar (even though there's only one note I can play on it, because the only string on it is made from a shoe). He said that he was living in a box on Train Rd, just half a mile away from me!! He also said that I could visit him anytime that I wanted to!
What a nice guy!
Also, I have more happy news! I found Mark by the local Chuck E. Vermin (the giant kiddie playplace with the rat mascot)! He was howling away, as anteaters do when they are lonely. From now on, I'll have to keep a closer eye on him...
To celebrate the event, I bought extra ants (buying! Such an overrated thing) at Toys 'R' Us in aisle seven.
Isn't it strange that everything that you want, in any store, is on aisle seven?
--Hobo Bob

Thank you, Google!

2008-05-18T05:55:00.000-07:00

As the title suggests, thank you, Google! I am now THE TOP RESULT when you search the words "hobo bob's pancake shack" without quotes and on the seventh page when you search "hobo bob" without quotes!
Something tells me that more users might come in soon.
Apparently, since yesterday, when I made my post on "Iron Hobo", a splendid movie, by the way, enough people viewed it to put me on the top of about 21,699 other pages!
So thank you, one and all, the people who have viewed Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack!
Another reason as to why I'm so happy is that I got another business partner. He doesn't even care if I'm a hobo!
His name is Robbie Ensimmäinen, and he claims to have given at least 1,000 other hobos like me restaurant chains!
How do you think McDonalds got started?
In other news, security is tightening up around here at Hobo Town as more people are moving here. Why, just yesterday, Nork Fizelmann, the nice man who fixed my computer, got arrested for stealing a vital chip off of his friend's computer when his friend not only told him he could have it, he practically forced him to take it!
It makes me wonder who's worse, the cop or the criminal?
Another example of this is one of my good friends, Hobo Jeff, also a hobo. Last week, he had to spend two days in a cell with real criminals that had done real crimes just for taking his trip to China!
(I'm not going to tell you how he got there, however. That part is what got him in jail. It makes me shudder when I think about it.)
But TWO DAYS?
Something weird is happening. I just can't put my finger on it.
--Hobo Bob

I AM IRON HOBO!

2008-05-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

Since recovering from Norsklandfest Alabama (shudder) I have done some reasearch on the Norsklandic language. It seems the longest word in it is
Liakeinatargassentokukeingammenneiniirranginnikeingmaingojaijijungijnaalainmagutentaagkeinlallaingnammeneignieonwodidenedd.
It means "Hello."
Anyway, by-the-by, I lost my anteater Mark!! If anybody is in the Hobo Town, Alabama region, please comment and help me find him!!
I can now read and write my name and some basic words, so I can read your comments now!
A few weekends ago I watched the film "Iron Hobo" and I forgot to write a review for it.
Iron Hobo truly is an amazing movie in every aspect. Here is a short summary of it:
As the opening credits roll, an army truck goes down a dusty road in Utah as HC/DC's "Train is Black" (one of my favorite songs, by the way) plays by way of a radio in the back of the car. It zooms into the car so we can see the person driving it, who is an African-American hobo.
Enter Hobo Stark, a genius weapons manufacturer who is head of Hobo Industries, which manufactures weapons for hobos looking for some revenge against the people who made them hobos in the first place. All of the passengers sit in the truck and talk as the driver drives along the seemingly endless dusty road.
But then, a large BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM! occurs right in front of them as an explosive goes off right in front of the army truck. One by one, Stark's fellow passengers go out of the car and are subsequently taken and killed.
Then Stark gets out of the car and he sees explosives OF HIS OWN COMPANY'S being deployed against him. 3...2...1...
BOOM!
Stark is flung on the ground by the sheer nuclear power of the bomb. And he lies there in the desert sand until...
He wakes up in a lab of some sort with a car battery attached to him. A scientist in the lab (which is a cave, by the way) tells him that the bomb that went off in front of him embedded lots of shrapnel in him. Him and other people tried to remove all of the shrapnel from him, but they couldn't do all of it.
A piece of shrapnel is still in his body, and the car battery is stopping the piece of shrapnel from entering his heart.
Eventually, men come in and tell him that they want him to build a Hobocho missle - one of Stark's trademark explosives. This device was responsible for destroying 19,000 homes in Los Angeles when an enraged hobo tried to destroy just one.
The men say that they have the materials for him all ready.
Stark starts building -- but not what the evil men think he is building. He builds a suit made of iron with a box-shaped head--
IRON HOBO.
The evil men aren't stupid, so they eventually realize that he is not building a Hobocho missle. They eventually kill the scientist that saved him -- but TOO LATE. Stark has replaced the car battery keeping him alive with a power sphere and is in his suit.
To make a long story short, he escapes the lab and kills everybody-
ALMOST EVERYBODY.
You see, he tried to kill the really-evil-sect-leader-bald-guy. He tried to, and he almost did, but he didn't.
He would appear later in the movie.
So Iron Hobo gets back home, which is all the way in California, and builds a new life sphere and suit. The suit still has its trademark box-head, which Stark likes, but otherwise is more streamlined.
He tests it out a couple times, and finally gets the new suit to work.
At which time he flies back to a village in Utah, and saves the villagers from that crazy really-evil-sect-leader-bald-guy.
Then he realizes that his best friend is conspiring against him and is working with the really-evil-sect-leader-bald-guy. See, his friend has built a new suit from the remains of Iron Hobo's old one, and he has added new capabilities.
Eventually, it all comes down to a battle, and Stark wins.
Then, at a press meeting, he decides that he's tired of lying, and proclaims:
"I AM IRON HOBO!"
Then the movie ends.
You should really see it. It is quite a good movie.
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Sorry for making this post really long.

Yesterday... was a baad day.

2008-05-16T03:54:00.000-07:00

When I woke up yesterday I had no clue as to where I was. I seemed to be in the middle of nowhere.
But there were people around, so I asked a young man who he was, and where we were.
"We are at Norsklandfest Alabama," he said. I asked him where he was from and why he was wearing a shirt made of wood, and he said that he was from Norskland, wherever that place is, and wearing a wooden shirt is traditional of Norsklanders.
It must hurt, though.
It seems that every year, Norsklanders all go somewhere to celebrate some huge party somewhere and they have to bring a donation to the main god, Bonmaj. Seems some bozo picked me up as a donation, and took me off to Norsklandfest Alabama.
DIDN'T I warn people about that already? Didn't I? If there is a hobo sleeping happily in his box, do not take the box anywhere, as this would mean taking the hobo along as well! Especially don't take him off to some weird celebration of a mostly-unheard-of religious sect called the Norsklanders!
Finally, I found a sane person at this place (although his name wasn't very sane, it was (deep breath) Heisnergarternachtentuukiallin Uukiniintaakengutentaggenoiken). I finally got him to take me home after the festival ended, which was around (gasp) one in the morning!!!
Turns out it only took me a little time to get back to my house.
That's good, but I am going to have nightmares about people with wooden shirts trying to attack me FOREVER.
And now I am afraid to go to sleep.
--A very distressed hobo named Bob

Update

2008-05-14T18:02:00.000-07:00

Well, as you might have guessed, I couldn't make a post yesterday because the computer was broken again, and I had to call poor Nork again to fix it.
It's a good thing he doesn't charge any money, because I'm broke.
I wish I wasn't a hobo.
Hopefully, Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack will change that all.
Thank you, stickinmud, for suggesting a place to buy my ants. The place you suggested is much cheaper. And Mark loves them!
Meanwhile, I took more lessons in the course and now I can read and write A, B, C, D, E, F, and G!
So, if you have any comments on my work you would like to make, please only write those letters in them.

--Hobo Bob
P.S. It has come to my attention that, yet again, nobody has donated at the Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack Growth Fund. I'm having a hard time getting food in the box, so please donate!

Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers Make 10th Album!!

2008-05-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

Hi there!
I'm very excited right now because Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers just made their 10th album and I am itching to tell you all about the songs that they made in the album (yes, I actually DID buy something again, some very kind soul named Hobo Billy gave me $15(!) to buy the album.)
The 15 songs on the CD, which is titled "Back on the Freight Train", in order, are:
Policeman! (Please, Let Me Stay A Little Longer)
Hobotown (Talkin' 'Bout Movin My Box)
Hitchhike
I Lost My Box
Some People Have A House
Life Is A Freight Train
If I Had A Crowbar
Brown Room
Hoboity
Rock You Like A Hobo Box
I Only Got A Penny (I'm Too Cheap For You, Babe)
Austrian Men Destroyed My Box
Cardboard (The Only Thing I Know)
Boulevard Of Broken Laws
Back On The Freight Train
Their album title suits them because they haven't made anything new in 10 YEARS!!! I've been waiting for this for a long time. I would recommend this album to anybody that likes hobos.
--Hobo Bob
P.S. I'm sorry that I didn't post anything on Saturday or Sunday. My computer was broken, and I had to get Nork Fizelmann, a neighbor who, by the way, isn't a hobo, to fix it.
P.P.S. I took my first class at the reading course at HOTU and now I know the letter "A" and its lowercase version, "a". Yay!!
P.P.P.S. I finally found some ants for Mark in a place where I would have never thought to look - the pet store.

Reading!

2008-05-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

I am SO EXCITED right now!
I am FINALLY going to learn how to read!!
See, there's this course at Hobo Town University (HOTU) on how to read for all of those hobos out there.
And best of all...
IT DOESN'T COST ANYTHING!!!!
I am so glad...
I am finally going to read all of these nice comments that people make!
Very excited right now,
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Still looking for ants. You know anywhere in Hobo Town where you can buy them??
P.P.S. DONATE AT HBPSGF.COM! NO MONEY!!!

A Pet!

2008-05-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

Today wasn't a normal day (if you can call any of my days normal).
When I woke up today, I saw a package at my flap. It said:
TO HOBO BOB
FIRST-CLASS
HANDLE WITH CARE
I couldn't believe my eyes! No one EVER sends me anything.
So, out of curiosity, I opened it.
Inside was...
AN ANTEATER! It had a long snout, beady little eyes, a brown nose, and other anteater characteristics.
So, logically, I named it Mark.
Mark is a good anteater, but I can't find any ants for him to eat, so I've been feeding him a share of my food, which is whatever I can beg for/find.
Anybody know of any mail-order ant vendors?
--Hobo Bob

Telephone Installed...!

2008-05-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

On the day of May the 1st I counted up my money that I have gathered from very kind strangers, and saw that I had enough to buy a telephone - $10.00!
I have longed to install a telephone system in my box for so long now that I still can't believe it. I can now call my family members - particularly my brother, Hobo Chuck, who has a telephone system in his house but no computer.
I haven't seen Hobo Chuck in ages. Maybe he and I can set up a little rendezvous together!
All I can say is, I'm glad my box came with a telephone jack.
--Hobo Bob

My Eventful Day

2008-05-06T14:39:00.000-07:00

Oh jeez.
Well, I'll try to tell you...
This morning, I slept in late with my box closed. Little did I know that that was a bad idea...
Somebody must have picked up my box with me in it! Anyways, when I woke up, I was in a landfill.
I was FREAKED OUT! Gratefully, since the landfill wasn't very far from the main streets of Alabama, I found the street that I usually reside on and somehow stumbled onto it, with trash all over me.
BUT IT TOOK ME ALL DAY!
AGGH! Doesn't anybody pause to think, when they look at boxes, that a hobo MIGHT be sleeping in them? Doesn't anybody look?
Next time you find an empty box on a street in the morning, please look to see if a hobo is inside. You could have just done a nice thing for the hobo if you didn't pick him up and drop him into a landfill.
Please try.
--Hobo Bob

Best. Movies. Ever.

2008-05-05T16:31:00.000-07:00

The Hobo series (Hobo Identity, Hobo Supremacy, Hobo Ultimatum) have to be the best movies I've ever seen. Let's see what an IMDB user and reviewer has to say about the third one:
Mark Hobo sits in a dusty room in with blood on his hands, trying to make sense of what he's just done. Meanwhile, a FTLE (Freight Train Law Enforcement) chief in NHC (New Hobo City) outlines the agency's response to what's just happened on screen. An American flag stands proudly on the centre of his desk in the foreground of the shot, but as he speaks, it slips out of focus as his plan veers into morally dubious territory, as if it doesn't want to be associated with the course of action the government man decides is necessary in the interests of national security.

This shot effectively captures the mood of the film. As well as portraying Hobo's quest to find out how he became Mark Hobo, Ultimatum is also an examination of the human costs of the measures taken to protect us in the interests of stability and security.

It is also probably the best film you'll see in the cinema this year.

It's just so intense. Hobo says to Johann Homleß (Considine) "This isn't some newspaper story, this is real" and in the audience you almost believe him. The camera shakes, but remains steady enough for you to see everything and feel like you're there with Hobo as he tries to elude his pursuers, and the performances are so good that these guys seem as though they are the characters they're portraying, instead of just being actors performing well-written roles. The action scenes are so brutally fast-paced and well choreographed that they seem instinctive instead of planned to the minutest movement; the stunt-work is nothing short of amazing.

The pacing is just incredible. It keeps driving forward towards its conclusion, but not so fast that it leaves you struggling to piece together the plot; the script delivers the information you need as quickly and clearly as possible before moving on to the next tense action set-piece. While they're often simple (the Hoboloo sequence is essentially just a man on a phone being watched by a man on a phone) they're charged with such dramatic intensity that you can't take your eyes off them. The film is just so focused on powering forwards that you can't help being swept along by it.

With its intense action set-pieces, brilliantly paced storyline, and intelligent examination of the decisions made in the name of national security, the Hobo series is one that accurately captures the ambiguities of our age. Ultimatum is its peak.

I can't help but SCREAM that he is right.
--Hobo Bob
P.S. Just a reminder: I looked at the Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack Growth Fund yesterday, and I found that NO MONEY has been donated so far! Please make a hobo happy, and visit hbpsgf.com.

No vacation...

2008-05-04T10:05:00.000-07:00

I tried to hitchhike on this guy's car, but when the person found out that I didn't know where I was going, he threw me out.
I had to go all the way back to Alabama...
But this time I knew where I was going, so I hitchhiked again and this time it worked out (thank goodness.)
BUT IT TOOK THREE DAYS!
...
I'm going to have to start making a list of people that I have grudges against.
It's getting kind of hard to keep track of all of them.
Sigh...
And I really wanted to go to some kind of beach, too...
Sigh...
--Hobo Bob

Update

2008-04-30T16:38:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I hadn't talked to the world lately; I was trying to get a new Internet connection for my new box. So, as you can imagine, I was trapped without the Internet for about... a long time.
My business partner quit on me when he realized that I really was a hobo...
PREJUDICE!!!!
Just because I don't have a home like you doesn't mean that I don't have feelings!
I may be vanishing from the Internet again because I am hoping to go to California, whether it be by plane, by hitchhiking, or by stowing away. (Well, maybe not by plane...)
--Hobo Bob

Exciting News!

2008-04-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

I got my first business partner!
He says his name is Hobo Pete, and he lives in a box in Nowhere, CO! He says he's experienced in the chain restaurant business, and that he'll make me a millionaire!
I hope so.
I've had to switch to living in a new box due to someone wanting their old box back. That old box happened to be my home!
Well lemme tell YOU, Mr. Take-Hobo-Bob's-home-all-over-a-lousy-refridgerator-box, when Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack becomes popular, I'm going to instruct all of my supervisors to instruct to all of my managers to instruct all of my employees SPECIFICALLY not to serve to you!
In other news, I managed to see a man about a job. He turned me down because I can't read.
Well, that's not my fault, how did I know that the job application sign said "Must be able to read."? I can't read it!

The Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack Growth Fund

2008-04-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

I have just set up the Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack Growth Fund. It is a place where people go to give money to help my pancake shack.
To find out more about it, go to:
hbpsgf.com
If you can't find the site, there's probably something wrong with your computer.
--Hobo Bob

Welcome to this blog

2008-04-20T17:09:00.000-07:00

Hello. I am Hobo Bob, the (hopefully future) president of Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack. This is my first blog.
I am very excited at the thought of making a pancake shack chain.
I hope that you will stay with me through this and support me as I try to make this pancake shack idea work.
--Hobo Bob