Wednesday, July 13, 2011

A quick announcement

ATTENTION: Hobo Bob would like to disassociate himself from the current owner of, whose favorite activity, it seems, is to publish utterly incoherent spam on the website. Do not go on the website unless you know that you may be scammed by the websites at the links and have taken precautions so that you cannot. It is not me who manages the website anymore. Also, looking around the Hobo Bob universe, most of my sites have been shut down now. A pity. Oh well. At least this is still up.
--Hobo Bob

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I'm still alive.

Brookings, part 2 will be posted in less than a week if I can.

I will explain my situation in it, and everything that has been happening lately to prevent me from posting.
But right now... I just got back to my box in Hobo Town, Alabama and I am bushed, so I'm going to catch up on some sleep I should have been getting lately but couldn't.

I'll tell you this: What kept me from posting before has nothing to do with the Norsklanders or the Menguasai (if you're new to this blog, you can browse around posts to find out what those two groups are), but something greater and far more terrible.

Catch you guys sometime later,
Hobo Bob

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Brookings (part 1)

Hi, folks! This is Hobo Bob, back yet again after a hiatus has ended.
Why a hiatus, you wonder? Why did Hobo Bob go away for longer than a month to do anything besides his blog?
Well, I was just working on some side projects. Although it's a big part of it, this blog isn't my life, and sometimes I need a break.
Unfortunately, the hiatus lasted too long, and it continued to the point where I lost some of my regular visitors. They all thought I was quitting, and I can understand why.
However, I'm back now, so spread the word, because I'm here again, and I'll start to post more.
So... yeah. Check the blog more, and tell your friends that I'm ready to post again. I'll try and raise this blog up again out of the quicksand it fell into while I was gone.

But enough of that.
While I'm here, you might want to know about my interesting trip to Brookings.

Last post I mentioned that my friend was going on a vacation with his friend to Brookings, a small town in Oregon (why anyone would go there for a vacation I have no idea), but his friend suddenly came down with a bad cold, so he knew he couldn't come. So, instead of just throwing away that plane ticket, he asked his other very good friend to come on the trip, and I am pleased to say that it was me. I, being the traveler type, accepted, even though I didn't know where Brookings was besides the fact that it was in Oregon, and I had never been on a plane ride in my life.

Before we got on the plane, a TSA official had to scan us and clear us for metal, and they had to strip us of our possessions and scan them for explosives, which I thought was one of the rudest things ever. I always have my bag of things with me. How was I supposed to know that I couldn't bring and use a desktop computer on board?
But they said that they'd keep it safe there until I got back, and I certainly hope so, because that computer was a lot of work, and I mean a LOT of work, to get.

But apparently, at 9/11, the terrorist attack where the World Trade Center fell, lost of planes were hijacked, including one known as Q33 NY, and it made the TSA extremely paranoid about bombs to blow up the plane and weapons to take down the pilot, and people taking the controls and flying the plane towards the largest structure. So I'll forgive them for that one incident, because they're paranoid and they don't know me, so they thought I might hide bombs in a computer, which, by the way, will never happen.

Enough of that, though.
After all that trouble to get through security, the plane ride was awesome. I had never felt anything like the exhilarating feeling of taking off or landing. And even though the plane, from the window, seemed to go extremely slowly, in a couple hours' time, we were transported from Hobo Town International to Crescent City Airport in California (Brookings is one of the most southern towns in Oregon), picked up a rental car, and drove to Brookings, where we promptly found our hotel rooms (mine was 307, my friend's was 328) unpacked, and then had a good seafood dinner at a restaurant.

"Don't you think there should be a Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack here like there is in Hobo Town and now San Francisco?" my friend asked.
"Don't you think that anywhere that doesn't should have one?" I responded, and we both had a good laugh at that.
"Good point," my friend replied. "You know, there are supposed to be lots of hobos here."
"Yeah. They say they're down by Wharf Street."
"That sounds like something I might want to check out tomorrow."

After dinner, we both retired to our hotel rooms and vowed that tomorrow we'd see the hobos. I called Hobo Town to see how the restaurant was coping without me, and it seemed to be doing fine, so I quietly went to sleep.

Friday, January 02, 2009

I'm Back (again)!

Hello, viewers! This is Hobo Bob, back posting after, to be exact, 3 weeks. (Even though Blogger said I posted this on January the 2nd, it's actually the 3rd right now.)
If you're wondering just what I was doing over some of that large period of time, I was actually on vacation in the coastal city of Brookings in Oregon. Why, you ask?

Well, the answer's quite simple, actually. A friend of mine had bought two plane tickets, but the person whom he had wanted to come with had fallen sick. So, he asked me if I wanted to go to Brookings, and I said sure, but had no idea what Oregon was like. I'll tell you the trip in full details on my next post, but here's a little idea for you of the somewhat eccentric temperatures of Brookings, comparing to the chilly San Francisco, except that San Francisco is a bit hotter, and Brookings gets more rain.
Brookings gets 75 inches of rain a year and no snow, remarkably, because it's always too hot.
But it's never too hot, because the temperature never goes much above 70.
The year high is usually about 72 and the year low is about 39. It's a very interesting place, because 6,455 people would want to live in a place where you can only ever look at the ocean 99% of the year, and if you do go in sometime other than that other 1% of the year (read: the beginning of August), you're going to regret it.
But still, I like it. The locals are nice and accommodating, and always ready to help a friend in need, and there's lots of hobos there.
Come to think of it, there seems to be a lot of hobos wherever I go. Maybe I just have a knack for spotting them, since I am one.
Like I said, more about Brookings next post.
In other news, the Pancake Shack had a special New Year's dinner where we served, in addition to the regular menu, some special meals, all served at a cheaper price than the usual. Just about everybody in town and some from out of town came. It was fun.

Also, in a grim turn of events, the Norsklanders have somehow managed to turn the battle the other way around and claim back some of their cities. Armaj has told us that this has to do with the Menguasai, and I'm pretty sure that this is true.
As a result of this, we've shifted some of our troops to Indonesia, where the headquarters of this strange civilization are, but not too many as we must recapture the cities that the Norsklanders have taken from us.

By the way, did you know it was my birthday on Christmas? Now I'm 31.
I still don't feel the slightest bit different, though.
--Hobo Bob

P.S. Did you know that more international people are coming to Hobo Bob? Just yesterday, I saw a visitor from Athens, Greece, and Engelberg, Switzerland.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Another concert!

Hey, Shack fans! This is Hobo Bob, posting again after a very exciting week!
You see, as I mentioned in the last post, Ritchie, the lead singer and bongo player of the famous hobo band Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers, invited me to play another concert with him at the famous Hobodome after the great success of the last concert I had had with the band.
Suffice to say, I was nervous, but I think I overcame that fairly quickly. Since I had memorized all of his songs, he didn't have to teach me anything. I played guitar, a little bass, and sang some backup lyrics in the 17 songs that we played.
A music reviewer named Lenny produced a review of the concert in the Hobo Gazette (our weekly newspaper here in Hobo Town). Here is an excerpt:

by Lenny Slavołyski
On a Sunday afternoon, several thousand concertgoers gathered at the Hobodome for what they expected to be a normal Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers concert.
It wasn't. Someone else was joining in on the glory.
Hobo Bob of Hobo Town, Alabama played with Ritchie at this memorable concert after Ritchie invited him to.
"I had no idea that it would turn out to be this," said Bob, clearly happy about having so many fans.
And indeed he did. The group and Bob rocked though the 17 songs that were played there. Several favorites of mine included the smash hits 'If I Had A Crowbar' and 'Cardboard (The Only Thing I Know)', and the new single, 'Train Time'.
It really was tremendous, and you could hardly hear the band over all of the cheering...

I don't think I need to tell you that it went well.
In other news, I have added some improvements to the blog.
First of all, the language translator. This translates my blog into tons of different languages for the viewing pleasure of people who do not speak English.
And second of all, there is the Hobo Bob world map. This shows where in the world people who come here are. So far I have somebody from Lille, France, and somebody from Bat Yam, Israel. I hope many different people from many different countries come!
--Hobo Bob

Saturday, December 06, 2008

New Shack!

Hello, fans and first-time readers alike! This is Hobo Bob, and I have to tell you that I am very excited. Why, you ask?
Because a NEW PANCAKE SHACK has just opened up in San Francisco, making Hobo Bob's Pancake Shack a chain officially!
I was there at the opening ceremony and actually got a few free days to spend there, too. Great place, San Francisco. They have just about everything - fun trolley rides, the Golden Gate Bridge, Pier 39, lots of hobos...
Actually, the new Pancake Shack was erected around Pier 39. Since there are lots of hobos and lots of non-hobos, this place was especially chosen by my Finnish business partner, Robbie Ensimmäinen, as one of the best places to put the second restaurant. I agreed with him totally. He always seems to have good ideas.

For those of you still wondering what became of the Lincoln Hobo Democracy mentioned in the last post, Armaj raided Lincoln and took the city from the ruthless Menguasai. So my friends are safe now.
It's been awhile since I last posted. How were your Thanksgivings? I know mine was good.
You see, hobos celebrate Thanksgiving with a - you guessed it - potluck. They never have enough different kinds of food for themselves, so they figure if everyone brings one thing in, there's going to be lots of different kinds of food at the table.
The party did have all different sorts of foods! Turkey, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce as usual, noodles, chips and dip, my famous party-stealing toast, fruit salad with all sorts of fruits that I had never heard of before, even cheese quesadillas!
And that was before dessert. I could not humanly describe how many desserts there were, but there were at least 100. I tried all of them, and they were all delicious.
If you're wondering how all of these foods could happen in a box, they couldn't. Ritchie, the famous hobo of Ritchie and the Overnight Park Stayers, with his house, had graciously accepted to host the potluck this year. (It rotates.)
While I was there, Ritchie invited me to do another concert with him, too! It's supposed to happen tomorrow, actually, so if you happen to live in Hobo Town, come down on to the Hobodome on Sunday at 8:00 PM to watch it. It'll be worth your while, I promise.
...So yeah. That's basically all that's been going on with me. How are you?
--Hobo Bob

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Hello, readers! Hobo Bob is back, with yet another post!
In the last few days, a lot of things have happened. The Norsklanders have attempted to take over Hobo Town (read more at, the Shack has decorated itself for Thanksgiving, this Thursday, and another thing happened, too.
Something that no one else seemed to cover, so I'll tell you.
Two days ago, I was walking down Homeless Boulevard when a man walked up to me.
"Hello," I said, trying to be friendly.
"Hello," he responded coldly. "Is your name Hobo Bob?"
"Why, ye-" I started to say, but he covered my mouth.
"Do not speak," he said. "You are in more danger than you think. Follow me, or there might be serious consequences."
We started turning down odd streets, ones that even I had never seen before. The neighborhoods were turning nastier and nastier until this strange, strange man finally stopped in a dark alleyway.
"What is it?" I asked him.
"I am sorry," he said. "Normally I would explain it to you before, but there were too many people that might be listening.
"I come from the Lincoln Hobo Democracy," he said. No wonder I seemed to recognize him.
"We're under attack," he continued.
"By the Norsklanders?" I asked.
"No, believe it or not. There seems to be a third side in this quest for world domination. They call themselves the Menguasai," he replied.
"They nearly succeeded in taking over Lincoln in a show of some of the best tactics that I have ever seen. Had Armaj's special forces team not showed up, we would have been done for for good."
"So what's your problem?" I asked him.
"Well..." he said, taking a deep breath. "However Armaj's special forces team may have helped, they couldn't get all of the Menguasai down, and then they did take over. They're terrorizing us. They have made a pact with the Norsklanders to help them. I'm asking you to tell Armaj about this."
"I can do that."
"You think so?" he asked me.
"I'm sure."
"Thank you so much," he said.
As soon as I got home, I called Armaj about this. It seems the Menguasai come from near where Armaj was born, and its leader is one of his rivals. He thanked me for telling him about this organization's rise to power, and the pact they had made with the Norsklanders. He says he will take evasive action against them as soon as he can. I just hope that the Lincoln Hobo Democracy is doing fine.

Also, I have made a Hobo Bob quiz on ibeatyou! Here's the URL:
I've tested it, and I think that you'll like it. Don't be afraid to do a little research!
--Hobo Bob
P.S. When you search 'iron hobo' on Google, I am at the top of about 1.2 million other webpages! Hooray!